2014-06-30
Original: 2014-06-30 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narration): Telepathy machines were created.
Panel 2 (narration): The first generation of users were a mess.
Woman (with linked-head device): Yeah, oh? And on a related topic, I think your religious views, career choices, and childrearing techniques are dumb!
Other person: AHAHA HAHA!
Panel 3 (narration): The second generation grew up telepathic. They fared better.
First sibling: Sibling, let us not quarrel at our age, we have poor impulse control. But, we both have good intentions.
Second sibling: Indeed.
Panel 4 (narration): But they had a problem.
Speaker: Ah, I see you too had parents who were embittered recluses, fearful of all technology, descending ever deeper into madness.
Panel 5 (narration): And a ubiquitous problem is hard to tell from a biological imperative.
Older speaker: God, when I was your age, my dad lived in the basement, naked in his foul hat, and spent every day screaming about how the world was made of cheese. I want you to know that too.
Panel 6 (narration): By the third generation, the accident of the past was refined by culture and gilded with folklore. Recent studies suggest this generation's teens are significantly less likely to rock themselves to sleep each night, swearing and gibbering. Experts say it is the social crisis of our time.
Panel 7 (narration): Sanity-increasing drugs were prescribed.
Patient: I just want him to be normal!
Doctor: One shot of lysergic acid diethylamide a day should do it.
Panel 8 (narration): The population at large are now a mad mega-mind, writhing with an infinity of discordant thoughts.
Panel 9 (narration): A small band of us left the new day behind, abandoning modernity in search for a more authentic human experience.
Bearded man: Thank god, we can go back to having private thoughts.
Panel 10 (narration): Things are better this way.
Woman in bed: So anyway, do you still love me or is the only thing keeping us together inertia?
Man in bed: I don't know! Let's just go to bed.
Votey: A simple line-drawn man's head and shoulders. A thought bubble above him reads: DANG.
Panel 2 (narration): The first generation of users were a mess.
Woman (with linked-head device): Yeah, oh? And on a related topic, I think your religious views, career choices, and childrearing techniques are dumb!
Other person: AHAHA HAHA!
Panel 3 (narration): The second generation grew up telepathic. They fared better.
First sibling: Sibling, let us not quarrel at our age, we have poor impulse control. But, we both have good intentions.
Second sibling: Indeed.
Panel 4 (narration): But they had a problem.
Speaker: Ah, I see you too had parents who were embittered recluses, fearful of all technology, descending ever deeper into madness.
Panel 5 (narration): And a ubiquitous problem is hard to tell from a biological imperative.
Older speaker: God, when I was your age, my dad lived in the basement, naked in his foul hat, and spent every day screaming about how the world was made of cheese. I want you to know that too.
Panel 6 (narration): By the third generation, the accident of the past was refined by culture and gilded with folklore. Recent studies suggest this generation's teens are significantly less likely to rock themselves to sleep each night, swearing and gibbering. Experts say it is the social crisis of our time.
Panel 7 (narration): Sanity-increasing drugs were prescribed.
Patient: I just want him to be normal!
Doctor: One shot of lysergic acid diethylamide a day should do it.
Panel 8 (narration): The population at large are now a mad mega-mind, writhing with an infinity of discordant thoughts.
Panel 9 (narration): A small band of us left the new day behind, abandoning modernity in search for a more authentic human experience.
Bearded man: Thank god, we can go back to having private thoughts.
Panel 10 (narration): Things are better this way.
Woman in bed: So anyway, do you still love me or is the only thing keeping us together inertia?
Man in bed: I don't know! Let's just go to bed.
Votey: A simple line-drawn man's head and shoulders. A thought bubble above him reads: DANG.
Alt text
A tall multi-panel comic narrating a fictional history of "telepathy machines." First generation: people wearing head devices argue and insult each other's religious views, careers, and parenting, laughing meanly. Second generation, raised telepathic, fares better: two siblings calmly agree not to quarrel, acknowledging poor impulse control but good intentions. But they have a problem: one notes the other also had embittered recluse parents fearful of technology, descending into madness. A panel explains a ubiquitous problem is hard to tell from a biological imperative, as an elder reminisces about a basement-dwelling father in a foul hat screaming the world was made of cheese, saying he wants the listener to inherit that too. By the third generation the past is gilded with folklore: studies say teens are less likely to rock themselves to sleep swearing and gibbering, called the social crisis of our time. Sanity-increasing drugs are prescribed: a doctor recommends one shot of LSD a day for a worried parent. The population becomes a single mad mega-mind of discordant thoughts. A small band abandons modernity for authentic experience, a bearded man relieved to have private thoughts again. Final panel, two people in bed: a woman asks whether her partner still loves her or if only inertia keeps them together; the man says he doesn't know and to just go to bed, the caption claiming things are better this way. Votey: a plain line drawing of a man's head with a thought bubble reading "DANG."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.