2014-07-02
Original: 2014-07-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man: But how do we get into Phnom Penh without being seen? Do we go by sea, or by land, or...
Panel 2:
A woman (red dress, dark hair): It won't be easy. Not so fast.
Panel 3:
The man: Who are you?
The woman: I'm the superfluous female protagonist.
Panel 4:
The woman: I was top of my class at C.I.A. and have degrees in rocket science, physical chemistry, and kung fu. Between this dialog and a fight scene in the second act, I will establish my mental and physical might.
Panel 5:
The woman: But after that, my role will be to ooh when the men make dangerous choices or seem indignant to danger. Plot points will vanquish me, but not be created by me. Then, at the end, I'll fall for one of you and your boyish charms.
A second man (bald): Probably this one. He's taller.
Panel 6:
The first man: Great. So what do you think of our attack strategy?
The woman: I favor the most conservative, most likely to succeed, most undramatic option.
Panel 7:
The woman: Or... we could parachute from space disguised as asteroids.
The first man: You're a madman, Hudson.
Panel 8 (caption): Soon...
Panel 9:
The men plummet through the sky as disguised asteroids. One: *sigh*
Votey:
Caption: And yet inexplicably arousing.
Image: A large bone (femur).
A man: But how do we get into Phnom Penh without being seen? Do we go by sea, or by land, or...
Panel 2:
A woman (red dress, dark hair): It won't be easy. Not so fast.
Panel 3:
The man: Who are you?
The woman: I'm the superfluous female protagonist.
Panel 4:
The woman: I was top of my class at C.I.A. and have degrees in rocket science, physical chemistry, and kung fu. Between this dialog and a fight scene in the second act, I will establish my mental and physical might.
Panel 5:
The woman: But after that, my role will be to ooh when the men make dangerous choices or seem indignant to danger. Plot points will vanquish me, but not be created by me. Then, at the end, I'll fall for one of you and your boyish charms.
A second man (bald): Probably this one. He's taller.
Panel 6:
The first man: Great. So what do you think of our attack strategy?
The woman: I favor the most conservative, most likely to succeed, most undramatic option.
Panel 7:
The woman: Or... we could parachute from space disguised as asteroids.
The first man: You're a madman, Hudson.
Panel 8 (caption): Soon...
Panel 9:
The men plummet through the sky as disguised asteroids. One: *sigh*
Votey:
Caption: And yet inexplicably arousing.
Image: A large bone (femur).
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A man asks how their team can sneak into Phnom Penh by sea or land without being seen. A woman in a red dress interrupts: "Not so fast." Asked who she is, she announces, "I'm the superfluous female protagonist." She explains she was top of her CIA class with degrees in rocket science, physical chemistry, and kung fu, and that between this dialog and a second-act fight scene she'll establish her mental and physical might. But after that, she says, her role will just be to "ooh" when the men make dangerous choices; plot points will happen to her, not be created by her, and at the end she'll fall for one of them and their boyish charm. A bald man notes she'll probably fall for him because he's taller. Asked her opinion on their attack strategy, she first favors the conservative, undramatic option, then immediately proposes parachuting from space disguised as asteroids; the man calls her a madman. Soon after, the men are shown plummeting through the sky disguised as asteroids, one sighing. The joke skewers the trope of a hyper-competent female character who is then sidelined into a passive love interest. Votey: a caption reads "And yet inexplicably arousing," above a drawing of a large bone.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.