2014-07-05
Original: 2014-07-05 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Dark-haired woman (archaeologist): OH MY GOD, HONEY! LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN THE CLOSET!
Red-haired woman: I FOUND THE FOSSILIZED REMAINS OF OUR ROMANCE.
Dark-haired woman: VERY FUNNY.
Panel 2:
Dark-haired woman (examining an object): LOOK! THIS APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF FLAT CELLULOSE PRODUCT. THERE IS AN INSCRIPTION ON IT, BUT THE FLOWERY LANGUAGE AND USE OF RHYMED VERSE MAKE IT INSCRUTABLE TO ME.
Red-haired woman: UH HUH.
Panel 3:
Dark-haired woman: WHAT THE— IT APPEARS THESE ANCIENT PEOPLE HAD PHOTOGRAPHIC TECHNOLOGY. THE INDIVIDUALS PICTURED ARE ENGAGED IN SOME SORT OF RITUALISTIC MASHING TOGETHER OF TEETH.
Red-haired woman: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE, GAL.
Panel 4:
Dark-haired woman: AND HERE... YOU CAN SEE THE PEOPLE OF THE ROMANTIC EPOCH FLED QUICKLY BY THIS TUBE OF LUBRICANT WHICH HAS HARDLY BEEN TOUCHED. BEHOLD THE DUST OF AGES, INHABITING ITS EVERY ELDRITCH PORE!
Red-haired woman: WE BOUGHT THAT LAST WEEK!
Panel 5:
Dark-haired woman: SORRY. I MUST ASK YOU TO LEAVE. I NEED TO CORDON OFF THIS AREA, AS IT MAY BE OF SOME ARCHAEOLOGICAL SIGNIFICANCE.
Red-haired woman (annoyed): I'M SORRY I FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY, OKAY?!
Panel 6:
Dark-haired woman (holding up underwear): WHAT THE... THIS APPEARS TO BE UNDERWEAR, BUT IF SO, WHY IS IT NOT GRANDMOTHERLY WHITE COTTON.
Votey:
Close-up of the dark-haired woman's face, dramatic and wide-eyed, declaring: THESE BELONG IN A MUSEUM!
Dark-haired woman (archaeologist): OH MY GOD, HONEY! LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN THE CLOSET!
Red-haired woman: I FOUND THE FOSSILIZED REMAINS OF OUR ROMANCE.
Dark-haired woman: VERY FUNNY.
Panel 2:
Dark-haired woman (examining an object): LOOK! THIS APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF FLAT CELLULOSE PRODUCT. THERE IS AN INSCRIPTION ON IT, BUT THE FLOWERY LANGUAGE AND USE OF RHYMED VERSE MAKE IT INSCRUTABLE TO ME.
Red-haired woman: UH HUH.
Panel 3:
Dark-haired woman: WHAT THE— IT APPEARS THESE ANCIENT PEOPLE HAD PHOTOGRAPHIC TECHNOLOGY. THE INDIVIDUALS PICTURED ARE ENGAGED IN SOME SORT OF RITUALISTIC MASHING TOGETHER OF TEETH.
Red-haired woman: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE, GAL.
Panel 4:
Dark-haired woman: AND HERE... YOU CAN SEE THE PEOPLE OF THE ROMANTIC EPOCH FLED QUICKLY BY THIS TUBE OF LUBRICANT WHICH HAS HARDLY BEEN TOUCHED. BEHOLD THE DUST OF AGES, INHABITING ITS EVERY ELDRITCH PORE!
Red-haired woman: WE BOUGHT THAT LAST WEEK!
Panel 5:
Dark-haired woman: SORRY. I MUST ASK YOU TO LEAVE. I NEED TO CORDON OFF THIS AREA, AS IT MAY BE OF SOME ARCHAEOLOGICAL SIGNIFICANCE.
Red-haired woman (annoyed): I'M SORRY I FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY, OKAY?!
Panel 6:
Dark-haired woman (holding up underwear): WHAT THE... THIS APPEARS TO BE UNDERWEAR, BUT IF SO, WHY IS IT NOT GRANDMOTHERLY WHITE COTTON.
Votey:
Close-up of the dark-haired woman's face, dramatic and wide-eyed, declaring: THESE BELONG IN A MUSEUM!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A dark-haired woman has rummaged through a closet and treats the relationship mementos she finds as an archaeological dig, narrating in deadpan scientist-speak while her red-haired partner gets increasingly irritated. She holds up a card and calls it 'a flat cellulose product' with an inscrutable rhymed inscription (a greeting card); the partner says 'uh huh.' She finds a photo of two people 'engaged in ritualistic mashing together of teeth' (a kiss); the partner snaps 'Don't be an asshole, Gal.' She marvels at a barely-used 'tube of lubricant' covered in 'the dust of ages,' and the partner retorts 'We bought that last week!' Finally she insists on cordoning off the area as archaeologically significant, prompting the partner to blurt 'I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary, okay?!' In the last panel the woman holds up a piece of underwear, puzzled that it is not 'grandmotherly white cotton.' Votey: an extreme dramatic close-up of the dark-haired woman's wide-eyed face shouting 'THESE BELONG IN A MUSEUM!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.