2014-04-11

A seven-panel SMBC comic. A woman with blue hair reads product labels at a supermarket and gets increasingly excited while a man with dark hair stands by unimpressed. She exclaims 'OH MY GOD! THIS DRINK IS CHEMICAL FREE!' then reads further: 'THIS CYLINDER CONTAINS NO ORDINARY MATTER, AND YET WHATEVER IS INSIDE BEHAVES LIKE A LIQUID AND CAN BE METABOLIZED BY HUMANS!' She marvels, 'WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! SOME COMPANY HAS CONDENSED DARK MATTER, OR POSITRONIUM, OR PERHAPS THE FABRIC OF SPACETIME ITSELF TO COALESCE IN THIS BOTTLE,' and 'AND IT'S CHERRY-FLAVORED! AND IT'S ONLY $2.99! IT WOULD TAKE MORE THAN ALL THE ENERGY IN THE UNIVERSE TO MAKE THIS, AND IT'S ONLY $2.99!' The man deadpans, 'ARE YOU GONNA DO THIS ALL DAY?' She immediately exclaims, 'OH MY GOD! THIS SODIUM CHLORIDE IS ORGANIC!' The joke mocks meaningless food-label buzzwords by taking phrases like 'chemical free' literally to absurd physics extremes. Votey: a woman reads a label saying 'WOW! THIS CAKE MIX HAS NO ADDITIVES!' above a large, loosely-drawn laughing face.