2014-04-07
Original: 2014-04-07 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: The Adventures of NIHILIST DOCTOR
Panel 1: A doctor in a white coat with glasses speaks to a patient.
Doctor: Open your mouth and think about how your most cherished feelings are programmed by the historical accidents of evolution.
Panel 2: The patient, a person with reddish hair, screams while the doctor looks into their mouth.
Patient: AAAAAAAAAAA///
Doctor: Palate looks good.
Panel 3: The doctor and patient sit/stand looking neutral.
Doctor: But everyone dies alone.
Votey:
The doctor's face shown close-up with blank white eyes and a flat expression.
Doctor (speech bubble): That'll be $800.
Panel 1: A doctor in a white coat with glasses speaks to a patient.
Doctor: Open your mouth and think about how your most cherished feelings are programmed by the historical accidents of evolution.
Panel 2: The patient, a person with reddish hair, screams while the doctor looks into their mouth.
Patient: AAAAAAAAAAA///
Doctor: Palate looks good.
Panel 3: The doctor and patient sit/stand looking neutral.
Doctor: But everyone dies alone.
Votey:
The doctor's face shown close-up with blank white eyes and a flat expression.
Doctor (speech bubble): That'll be $800.
Alt text
A four-panel comic titled "The Adventures of NIHILIST DOCTOR." Panel 1: A doctor in a white coat and glasses tells a patient, "Open your mouth and think about how your most cherished feelings are programmed by the historical accidents of evolution." Panel 2: The patient screams "AAAAAAAAAAA" with mouth wide open as the doctor peers inside and remarks, "Palate looks good." Panel 3: The two sit calmly and the doctor adds, "But everyone dies alone." The joke is a doctor delivering bleak nihilist observations during a routine mouth exam. Votey: A close-up of the doctor's face with blank, hollow white eyes and a deadpan expression, saying "That'll be $800" — the mundane bill punchline capping the existential dread.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.