2014-04-04
Original: 2014-04-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A bearded man speaks to a woman with dark hair.
Bearded man: "Honey, I bought a machine that tells you what your actions do to your baby in the long term."
Panel 2: A small device/screen readout.
Readout: "0.001 more IQ points."
Panel 3: A woman pushes a baby in a stroller outdoors; a machine display shows a reading.
Display: "Increased appreciation for nature."
Panel 4: A close-up of a smiling baby's face. A machine display gives its prediction.
Display: "Future beard fetish."
Panel 5: The bearded man and the dark-haired woman sit together on a couch, both looking pleased.
Panel 6: Exterior/wide shot of the scene (no dialogue).
Votey:
The baby-prediction machine (a boxy robot with antennae) tips over.
Machine (speech bubble): "Future Luddite!"
Bearded man: "Honey, I bought a machine that tells you what your actions do to your baby in the long term."
Panel 2: A small device/screen readout.
Readout: "0.001 more IQ points."
Panel 3: A woman pushes a baby in a stroller outdoors; a machine display shows a reading.
Display: "Increased appreciation for nature."
Panel 4: A close-up of a smiling baby's face. A machine display gives its prediction.
Display: "Future beard fetish."
Panel 5: The bearded man and the dark-haired woman sit together on a couch, both looking pleased.
Panel 6: Exterior/wide shot of the scene (no dialogue).
Votey:
The baby-prediction machine (a boxy robot with antennae) tips over.
Machine (speech bubble): "Future Luddite!"
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a bearded man tells a dark-haired woman, "Honey, I bought a machine that tells you what your actions do to your baby in the long term." The next panels show the machine's readouts for various parenting moments: "0.001 more IQ points," then a woman pushing a stroller outdoors reads "Increased appreciation for nature," then a close-up of a smiling baby reads "Future beard fetish." The couple sit happily together on a couch, pleased with the machine. Votey aftercomic: the little robot machine has tipped over on its side, blurting out one final prediction in a speech bubble: "FUTURE LUDDITE!" — the joke being that the machine itself drove the child to reject technology.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.