Medicine
Original: Medicine on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Main comic:
Panel 1 (a bearded older man, the senior physician, addressing a younger bearded man in a green hood, the "Rookie"): "By Saint Erasmus' spleen, Rookie, it's OBVIOUS! A witch has stolen this man's boners. He may DIE. Get me half a firkin of mandrake root, a poultice of roasted he-mice, and ALL THE MAIDEN PISS YOU CAN CARRY!"
Panel 2 (the young man in the green hood, skeptical): "Will that hold him until we confirm by fire that an opinionated lady over 25 is at fault?"
The senior physician (gesturing over a prone patient lying on a table): "It'll have to, Rookie. It'll HAVE to."
Caption below the comic: "Why has nobody made a medieval medical drama?"
Votey:
The senior physician (shouting, pointing dramatically): "To the pissatorium!"
Panel 1 (a bearded older man, the senior physician, addressing a younger bearded man in a green hood, the "Rookie"): "By Saint Erasmus' spleen, Rookie, it's OBVIOUS! A witch has stolen this man's boners. He may DIE. Get me half a firkin of mandrake root, a poultice of roasted he-mice, and ALL THE MAIDEN PISS YOU CAN CARRY!"
Panel 2 (the young man in the green hood, skeptical): "Will that hold him until we confirm by fire that an opinionated lady over 25 is at fault?"
The senior physician (gesturing over a prone patient lying on a table): "It'll have to, Rookie. It'll HAVE to."
Caption below the comic: "Why has nobody made a medieval medical drama?"
Votey:
The senior physician (shouting, pointing dramatically): "To the pissatorium!"
Alt text
A two-panel cartoon parodying a medical TV drama set in the Middle Ages. A grizzled older physician barks urgent orders to a younger hooded "Rookie" doctor over a patient lying on a table: "By Saint Erasmus' spleen, Rookie, it's OBVIOUS! A witch has stolen this man's boners. He may DIE. Get me half a firkin of mandrake root, a poultice of roasted he-mice, and ALL THE MAIDEN PISS YOU CAN CARRY!" The Rookie asks, "Will that hold him until we confirm by fire that an opinionated lady over 25 is at fault?" The senior gravely replies, "It'll have to, Rookie. It'll HAVE to." The caption reads: "Why has nobody made a medieval medical drama?" The joke mixes the breathless cadence of a hospital show with absurd medieval superstition (witchcraft diagnoses, witch-hunting women, and pseudo-medical ingredients). Votey: a close-up of the senior physician pointing and shouting heroically, "To the pissatorium!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.