Myth
Original: Myth on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Woman (curly hair, glasses): Myths are more than stories. They're visions of how to live life. How to BE.
Man: Totally.
Panel 2
Woman: Like the one in Ovid, where Midas says Pan's music is better than Apollo's, so Apollo gives Midas donkey ears forever.
Panel 3
Woman: The deep insight being that if there's a music contest between two gods, you should prefer whichever music came from the more powerful god, because otherwise they might magic your ears so you look dumb.
Panel 4
Woman: Or the story in the Prose Edda, where Loki turns into a mare to distract a giant's horse, and then while he's at it, decides to have sex with the horse and then gives birth to a flying 8-legged horse.
Panel 5
Woman: The beautiful vision being that if you're in horse-mode, hey, make time for sex. Because you just might birth an airborne spider-horse.
Panel 6
Woman: Or the part in Plutarch where Set dismembers Osiris, and Isis puts him back together, except that a fish ate his boner, so she makes him a golden dong, the point being—
Man: Okay, fine. Point taken.
Panel 7
Woman: The golden dong represents the human potential to have something golden inside us.
Man: STOP IT!
Votey:
Woman: The boner eating fish represents the modern economy. Think about it.
Woman (curly hair, glasses): Myths are more than stories. They're visions of how to live life. How to BE.
Man: Totally.
Panel 2
Woman: Like the one in Ovid, where Midas says Pan's music is better than Apollo's, so Apollo gives Midas donkey ears forever.
Panel 3
Woman: The deep insight being that if there's a music contest between two gods, you should prefer whichever music came from the more powerful god, because otherwise they might magic your ears so you look dumb.
Panel 4
Woman: Or the story in the Prose Edda, where Loki turns into a mare to distract a giant's horse, and then while he's at it, decides to have sex with the horse and then gives birth to a flying 8-legged horse.
Panel 5
Woman: The beautiful vision being that if you're in horse-mode, hey, make time for sex. Because you just might birth an airborne spider-horse.
Panel 6
Woman: Or the part in Plutarch where Set dismembers Osiris, and Isis puts him back together, except that a fish ate his boner, so she makes him a golden dong, the point being—
Man: Okay, fine. Point taken.
Panel 7
Woman: The golden dong represents the human potential to have something golden inside us.
Man: STOP IT!
Votey:
Woman: The boner eating fish represents the modern economy. Think about it.
Alt text
A seven-panel comic. A woman with curly hair and glasses enthusiastically lectures a man (orange hair, pink shirt) about mythology as they stand on a beach at sunset, then in a grassy field. She says myths are visions of how to live: she cites Ovid's Midas getting donkey ears for preferring Pan's music over Apollo's ("insight": prefer the more powerful god's music or get magicked); the Prose Edda's Loki turning into a mare, mating with a giant's horse, and birthing an eight-legged flying horse ("vision": in horse-mode, make time for sex); and Plutarch's Osiris being dismembered, his boner eaten by a fish, and Isis giving him a golden replacement. As she rambles on, the man escalates from "Totally" to "Okay, fine. Point taken" to finally shouting "STOP IT!" while she earnestly concludes the golden dong represents humanity's potential to have something golden inside us. Votey: a close-up of the man's exasperated face as the woman, off-panel, adds: "The boner eating fish represents the modern economy. Think about it."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.