Number One
Original: Number One on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: An older bald man with glasses and a mustache holds up a coffee mug, angry. A younger woman with dark curly hair stands behind him looking apprehensive.
Man: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? YOU THINK I'M STUPID?
Woman: Dad, I-
Panel 2: Close on the man holding the mug, which reads "#1 DAD". He is furious.
Man: "NUMBER ONE DAD"? WERE YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION WHEN I TAUGHT STATISTICAL ANALYSIS ON ALL THOSE ROAD TRIPS? HUH?
Panel 3: The woman, exasperated.
Woman: OKAY, OKAY, I'LL GET YOU A DIFFERENT ONE.
Panel 4: Caption: LATER. The man sits contentedly, eyes closed, holding a new mug.
Man: SO... BEAUTIFUL...
Panel 5: Close-up of the new mug. It reads "NOT SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM A GOOD DAD" above a bell curve (normal distribution). A dashed line near the left tail is labeled "you," the shaded tails are marked, and the x-axis is labeled "-1.5."
Votey: A woman with long dark hair (drawn in the rough, sketchy 'votey' style) looks sidelong/skeptical. Above her is a speech-bubble-shaped tag reading "P<.01".
Man: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? YOU THINK I'M STUPID?
Woman: Dad, I-
Panel 2: Close on the man holding the mug, which reads "#1 DAD". He is furious.
Man: "NUMBER ONE DAD"? WERE YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION WHEN I TAUGHT STATISTICAL ANALYSIS ON ALL THOSE ROAD TRIPS? HUH?
Panel 3: The woman, exasperated.
Woman: OKAY, OKAY, I'LL GET YOU A DIFFERENT ONE.
Panel 4: Caption: LATER. The man sits contentedly, eyes closed, holding a new mug.
Man: SO... BEAUTIFUL...
Panel 5: Close-up of the new mug. It reads "NOT SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM A GOOD DAD" above a bell curve (normal distribution). A dashed line near the left tail is labeled "you," the shaded tails are marked, and the x-axis is labeled "-1.5."
Votey: A woman with long dark hair (drawn in the rough, sketchy 'votey' style) looks sidelong/skeptical. Above her is a speech-bubble-shaped tag reading "P<.01".
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a bald, mustached older man in glasses angrily holds up a coffee mug while a younger woman stands behind him; he says, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? YOU THINK I'M STUPID?" She says, "Dad, I-". Panel 2: close-up of him holding the mug, which reads "#1 DAD"; he yells, "'NUMBER ONE DAD'? WERE YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION WHEN I TAUGHT STATISTICAL ANALYSIS ON ALL THOSE ROAD TRIPS? HUH?" Panel 3: the woman, exasperated, says, "OKAY, OKAY, I'LL GET YOU A DIFFERENT ONE." Panel 4: caption "LATER"; the man sits with eyes closed, blissfully holding a new mug, saying, "SO... BEAUTIFUL...". Panel 5: a close-up of the new mug, which reads "NOT SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM A GOOD DAD" above a bell curve; a point in the left tail is labeled "you" and the axis is labeled "-1.5". The joke: the statistically pedantic dad is delighted by a mug whose statistical claim he can't dispute. Votey: a roughly sketched woman gives a skeptical sidelong look, with a tag above her reading "P<.01."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.