Long
Original: Long on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narration banner): A HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR.
Scene: The exterior of a bar; a horse's hindquarters and back legs are visible going through the doorway.
Panel 2 (narration banner): THE BARTENDER SAYS:
Bartender (speech bubble): WHY THE LONG FACE?
Scene: A red-haired bartender in a green apron stands behind the bar, smiling at a seated customer. The horse's large dark head looms at the right edge of the panel.
Panel 3 (narration banner): THE HORSE SAYS:
Horse (narration/caption): I'M AN OBLIGATE GRAZER AND MY ELONGATED SKULL ACCOMMODATES LARGE JAW MUSCLES, AS WELL AS THE EXTENSIVE MOLARS AND PREMOLARS REQUIRED TO CONSUME FIBROUS GRASSES.
Scene: A close-up of the horse's long head.
Panel 4 (narration banner): THE BARMAN IMMEDIATELY REGRETS THE JOKE, AND TRIES TO SAY SO, BUT HIS SHAME IS ONLY MULTIPLIED BY THE PRACTICED GRACE OF HIS CUSTOMER. THE MOMENT HAUNTS HIM FOREVER.
Bartender (speech bubble): WHAT I MEAN IS—
Horse (speech bubble): MAY I SEE YOUR WINE LIST?
Scene: The bartender raises a hand, flustered, while the horse stands poised at the bar.
Votey:
Caption across the top of the panel: NAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Scene: An extreme close-up of the bartender's face, mouth open in distress, one hand raised toward his cheek.
Scene: The exterior of a bar; a horse's hindquarters and back legs are visible going through the doorway.
Panel 2 (narration banner): THE BARTENDER SAYS:
Bartender (speech bubble): WHY THE LONG FACE?
Scene: A red-haired bartender in a green apron stands behind the bar, smiling at a seated customer. The horse's large dark head looms at the right edge of the panel.
Panel 3 (narration banner): THE HORSE SAYS:
Horse (narration/caption): I'M AN OBLIGATE GRAZER AND MY ELONGATED SKULL ACCOMMODATES LARGE JAW MUSCLES, AS WELL AS THE EXTENSIVE MOLARS AND PREMOLARS REQUIRED TO CONSUME FIBROUS GRASSES.
Scene: A close-up of the horse's long head.
Panel 4 (narration banner): THE BARMAN IMMEDIATELY REGRETS THE JOKE, AND TRIES TO SAY SO, BUT HIS SHAME IS ONLY MULTIPLIED BY THE PRACTICED GRACE OF HIS CUSTOMER. THE MOMENT HAUNTS HIM FOREVER.
Bartender (speech bubble): WHAT I MEAN IS—
Horse (speech bubble): MAY I SEE YOUR WINE LIST?
Scene: The bartender raises a hand, flustered, while the horse stands poised at the bar.
Votey:
Caption across the top of the panel: NAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Scene: An extreme close-up of the bartender's face, mouth open in distress, one hand raised toward his cheek.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic that literalizes the classic 'a horse walks into a bar' joke. Panel 1, narration: 'A horse walks into a bar' — we see a horse's rear half going through a bar doorway. Panel 2: a smiling red-haired bartender in a green apron asks a seated customer, 'Why the long face?' while a large dark horse head looms at the right. Panel 3, narration 'The horse says:' — a close-up of the horse, which replies with a dry, scientifically precise explanation: 'I'm an obligate grazer and my elongated skull accommodates large jaw muscles, as well as the extensive molars and premolars required to consume fibrous grasses.' Panel 4, narration: 'The barman immediately regrets the joke, and tries to say so, but his shame is only multiplied by the practiced grace of his customer. The moment haunts him forever.' The bartender stammers 'What I mean is—' and the unbothered horse simply asks, 'May I see your wine list?' The joke: the horse answers the cliche pun with deadpan anatomical literalism, leaving the bartender mortified. Votey aftercomic: an extreme close-up of the anguished bartender's face, mouth agape and hand to his cheek, with a caption reading 'NAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY' — a horse-pun spin on a screamed 'NOOO.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.