2015-01-13
Original: 2015-01-13 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Time traveler (a man in a green hood, goggles/sunglasses, and a mustache, with an antenna on his head): BOB! I'm you from the future! In ten years you invent a time machine!
Panel 2:
Time traveler: You use it to go back to when you were sixteen and you jokingly brought a blowup doll to prom because you didn't have a date, but then your mom was there, and she asked why you weren't dancing with your girlfriend Chelsea and Chelsea was RIGHT THERE and she didn't even know who you were.
Panel 3:
Time traveler: I'm here to warn you: your changing of that timeline results in a catastrophic nuclear war 35 years later!
Panel 4:
Bob (a red-haired man): So you're here to stop me from making the time machine.
Panel 5:
Time traveler: No, no way. No, it was totally worth it. Remember how you puked RIGHT THERE on the dance floor.
Panel 6:
Bob: Oh god.
Time traveler: Yeah.
Panel 7:
Time traveler: No, I'm here to fight off all the time travelers coming to kill you.
Panel 8:
A second attacking time traveler (also green-hooded): AAAH!
[Sound effect: ZZZT]
Panel 9 (final):
Time traveler: We'll be doing this for the next 25 years. Are you prepared?
Bob (now holding a large gun): I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!
Votey:
A man with a slightly dazed expression speaks: IN THE FUTURE FLOWER POTS ARE HATS.
Time traveler (a man in a green hood, goggles/sunglasses, and a mustache, with an antenna on his head): BOB! I'm you from the future! In ten years you invent a time machine!
Panel 2:
Time traveler: You use it to go back to when you were sixteen and you jokingly brought a blowup doll to prom because you didn't have a date, but then your mom was there, and she asked why you weren't dancing with your girlfriend Chelsea and Chelsea was RIGHT THERE and she didn't even know who you were.
Panel 3:
Time traveler: I'm here to warn you: your changing of that timeline results in a catastrophic nuclear war 35 years later!
Panel 4:
Bob (a red-haired man): So you're here to stop me from making the time machine.
Panel 5:
Time traveler: No, no way. No, it was totally worth it. Remember how you puked RIGHT THERE on the dance floor.
Panel 6:
Bob: Oh god.
Time traveler: Yeah.
Panel 7:
Time traveler: No, I'm here to fight off all the time travelers coming to kill you.
Panel 8:
A second attacking time traveler (also green-hooded): AAAH!
[Sound effect: ZZZT]
Panel 9 (final):
Time traveler: We'll be doing this for the next 25 years. Are you prepared?
Bob (now holding a large gun): I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!
Votey:
A man with a slightly dazed expression speaks: IN THE FUTURE FLOWER POTS ARE HATS.
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. A future time traveler—a man wearing a green hood, sunglasses, a mustache, and a head antenna—appears to a red-haired man named Bob. He announces, 'Bob! I'm you from the future! In ten years you invent a time machine!' He explains that Bob uses it to go back to age sixteen, when he jokingly brought a blowup doll to prom because he had no date, but his mom was there and asked why he wasn't dancing with his girlfriend Chelsea—who was right there and didn't even know who he was. The traveler warns that changing that timeline causes a catastrophic nuclear war 35 years later. Bob asks, 'So you're here to stop me from making the time machine.' The traveler says no—it was totally worth it, recalling how Bob puked right there on the dance floor ('Oh god.' 'Yeah.'). Instead, the traveler says he's here to fight off all the OTHER time travelers coming to kill Bob. A second green-hooded time traveler lunges in shouting 'AAAH!' and gets zapped. The future-Bob says, 'We'll be doing this for the next 25 years. Are you prepared?' Bob, now gripping a large gun with a determined face, shouts, 'I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!' Votey: a close-up of a man with a dazed look declaring, 'In the future, flower pots are hats.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.