2014-10-16
Original: 2014-10-16 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A robed alien figure standing at a podium addresses two seated Kryptonian-looking men.
Alien at podium: EARTHLINGS! WE COME TO APOLOGIZE!
Seated man: FOR WHAT?
Panel 2:
Alien: WE COME FROM PLANET KRYPTON. LONG AGO, WE SENT SUPER-POWERFUL BABIES INTO SPACE, TO DESTROY ALIEN CIVILIZATIONS. WE HAVE REALIZED THE ERROR OF OUR WAYS, AND HAVE COME TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE.
Panel 3:
Man: WAIT, WHAT?? HOLD ON, YOU MEAN SUPERMAN?
Panel 4:
Alien: I... SUPPOSE HE WOULD CALL HIMSELF THAT. HE'S PROBABLY BEEN A TYRANT FOR DECADES NOW.
Panel 5:
Man: NAH, HE'S A GOOD GUY. HE SPENDS ALL HIS TIME FIGHTING SUPERVILLAINS.
Alien: SUPER-VILLAINING?
Panel 6:
Man: YEAH. LIKE, POWER-MAD EVIL PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL WHOLE CITIES OR TAKE ORPHANS HOSTAGE OR START WARS OR BLOW UP THE MOON. SUPERMAN REALLY HAS HIS HANDS FULL.
Panel 7:
Man: I... ON EVERY OTHER PLANET, THE SUPER-KRYPTONIAN JUST TAKES OVER.
Panel 8:
Alien: THIS PLANET WAS SPARED... DUE TO THE SHEER QUANTITY OF SOCIOPATHS COMPETING FOR DOMINATION.
Panel 9 (final, dark):
The alien (in silhouette) addresses an unseen ship.
Alien: IT'LL BE OKAY, 'SUPERMAN'! WE'RE COMING HOME NOW!
Voice from the ship/distance: THAT'S RIDICULOUS! GIVE IT EVERYBODY! AHAHAHAHA!!!
Votey:
A close-up of a Kryptonian/Superman-like man's face looking down with a grim, exasperated expression. Hand-lettered word across the top: HUMANS!
A robed alien figure standing at a podium addresses two seated Kryptonian-looking men.
Alien at podium: EARTHLINGS! WE COME TO APOLOGIZE!
Seated man: FOR WHAT?
Panel 2:
Alien: WE COME FROM PLANET KRYPTON. LONG AGO, WE SENT SUPER-POWERFUL BABIES INTO SPACE, TO DESTROY ALIEN CIVILIZATIONS. WE HAVE REALIZED THE ERROR OF OUR WAYS, AND HAVE COME TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE.
Panel 3:
Man: WAIT, WHAT?? HOLD ON, YOU MEAN SUPERMAN?
Panel 4:
Alien: I... SUPPOSE HE WOULD CALL HIMSELF THAT. HE'S PROBABLY BEEN A TYRANT FOR DECADES NOW.
Panel 5:
Man: NAH, HE'S A GOOD GUY. HE SPENDS ALL HIS TIME FIGHTING SUPERVILLAINS.
Alien: SUPER-VILLAINING?
Panel 6:
Man: YEAH. LIKE, POWER-MAD EVIL PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL WHOLE CITIES OR TAKE ORPHANS HOSTAGE OR START WARS OR BLOW UP THE MOON. SUPERMAN REALLY HAS HIS HANDS FULL.
Panel 7:
Man: I... ON EVERY OTHER PLANET, THE SUPER-KRYPTONIAN JUST TAKES OVER.
Panel 8:
Alien: THIS PLANET WAS SPARED... DUE TO THE SHEER QUANTITY OF SOCIOPATHS COMPETING FOR DOMINATION.
Panel 9 (final, dark):
The alien (in silhouette) addresses an unseen ship.
Alien: IT'LL BE OKAY, 'SUPERMAN'! WE'RE COMING HOME NOW!
Voice from the ship/distance: THAT'S RIDICULOUS! GIVE IT EVERYBODY! AHAHAHAHA!!!
Votey:
A close-up of a Kryptonian/Superman-like man's face looking down with a grim, exasperated expression. Hand-lettered word across the top: HUMANS!
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic. A robed alien stands at a podium addressing two seated men with Superman-like features. The alien announces, "Earthlings! We come to apologize!" It explains that long ago their planet Krypton sent super-powerful babies into space to destroy alien civilizations, and now they have realized their error and come to repair the damage. A man asks, "Wait, what?? Hold on, you mean Superman?" The alien supposes Superman has probably been a tyrant for decades. The man corrects it: no, Superman is a good guy who spends all his time fighting supervillains. The alien is confused by the idea of "super-villaining," and the man explains there are power-mad evil people trying to kill whole cities, take orphans hostage, start wars, or blow up the moon, so Superman has his hands full. The man realizes that on every other planet the super-Kryptonian just takes over. The alien concludes that Earth was spared only because of the sheer quantity of sociopaths competing for domination. In the final dark panel, the alien calls out to its ship, "It'll be okay, 'Superman'! We're coming home now!" and a voice from the ship cackles, "That's ridiculous! Give it everybody! Ahahahaha!!!" Votey: a close-up of a grim, exasperated Superman-like face looking down, with the hand-lettered word "HUMANS!" above him.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.