2014-10-17
Original: 2014-10-17 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Caption (top): BAD NEWS, KIDS:
Father (a balding man with glasses, sitting): I WAS SURE THAT BY 56 THE TIME I HAD TO KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING.
Panel 2:
Father: TURNS OUT IT'S A REAL CLUSTERFUCK.
Panel 3:
Father: I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO MY JOB. I DON'T KNOW WHY I LIVE IN THIS HOUSE. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M MARRIED OR WHY I HAVE KIDS.
Panel 4:
Father: I'M JUST LIVING HOUR TO HOUR, MAN. EACH HOUR IS LIKE ANOTHER MILE ON MONKEY BARS, AND BY GOD ARE MY ARMS TIRED.
Panel 5:
Father: I'M JUST HERE.
Panel 6:
Child (off-panel): DADDY, WE DON'T CARE. COULD YOU TELL US THE STORY OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE?
Panel 7:
Father: FINE. BUT IN MY VERSION, THE RACE HAS NO END.
Votey:
A simply-drawn round-headed figure stands with arms slightly raised.
Caption: THERE IS NO WINNER
Caption (top): BAD NEWS, KIDS:
Father (a balding man with glasses, sitting): I WAS SURE THAT BY 56 THE TIME I HAD TO KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING.
Panel 2:
Father: TURNS OUT IT'S A REAL CLUSTERFUCK.
Panel 3:
Father: I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO MY JOB. I DON'T KNOW WHY I LIVE IN THIS HOUSE. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M MARRIED OR WHY I HAVE KIDS.
Panel 4:
Father: I'M JUST LIVING HOUR TO HOUR, MAN. EACH HOUR IS LIKE ANOTHER MILE ON MONKEY BARS, AND BY GOD ARE MY ARMS TIRED.
Panel 5:
Father: I'M JUST HERE.
Panel 6:
Child (off-panel): DADDY, WE DON'T CARE. COULD YOU TELL US THE STORY OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE?
Panel 7:
Father: FINE. BUT IN MY VERSION, THE RACE HAS NO END.
Votey:
A simply-drawn round-headed figure stands with arms slightly raised.
Caption: THERE IS NO WINNER
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A balding father in glasses sits and addresses his kids. Panel 1, captioned 'BAD NEWS, KIDS:', he says he was sure that by 56 he'd know what he was doing. Panel 2: 'Turns out it's a real clusterfuck.' Panel 3: he doesn't know why he does his job, lives in this house, is married, or has kids. Panel 4: he's just living hour to hour, each hour like another mile on monkey bars, and by God are his arms tired. Panel 5: 'I'm just here.' Panel 6: an off-panel child says 'Daddy, we don't care. Could you tell us the story of the Tortoise and the Hare?' Panel 7: 'Fine. But in my version, the race has no end.' Votey: a simple round-headed figure stands with arms slightly raised below the words 'THERE IS NO WINNER'.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.