2014-09-11
Original: 2014-09-11 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Bully (a boy in a striped shirt): GIMME YER LUNCH MONEY, DORK.
Panel 2:
Victim (a boy with glasses, off-panel or facing away): COME ON, GIMME PLEASE.
Panel 3:
Victim (boy with glasses): GIMME YER LUNCH MONEY, OR I'LL USE MY KNOWLEDGE OF STATISTICAL ANALYSIS AND COMPUTING TO FIND OUT EVERY WAY YOU DEVIATE FROM A SOCIAL NORM, THEN MAKE IT PUBLIC.
Bully: HERE YOU GO! THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAIRNESS, SIR!
Panel 4:
Caption / one of the boys: THE WORLD IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT THERE AREN'T ANY BULLIES.
Votey:
A man (close-up of his face, looking upward, distressed): WHO WILL SING FOR THE BULLY?
Bully (a boy in a striped shirt): GIMME YER LUNCH MONEY, DORK.
Panel 2:
Victim (a boy with glasses, off-panel or facing away): COME ON, GIMME PLEASE.
Panel 3:
Victim (boy with glasses): GIMME YER LUNCH MONEY, OR I'LL USE MY KNOWLEDGE OF STATISTICAL ANALYSIS AND COMPUTING TO FIND OUT EVERY WAY YOU DEVIATE FROM A SOCIAL NORM, THEN MAKE IT PUBLIC.
Bully: HERE YOU GO! THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAIRNESS, SIR!
Panel 4:
Caption / one of the boys: THE WORLD IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT THERE AREN'T ANY BULLIES.
Votey:
A man (close-up of his face, looking upward, distressed): WHO WILL SING FOR THE BULLY?
Alt text
A four-panel comic about bullying turned on its head. Panel 1: a boy in a striped shirt demands, "GIMME YER LUNCH MONEY, DORK." Panel 2: a plea, "COME ON, GIMME PLEASE." Panel 3: the bespectacled victim turns the tables, saying he'll use his knowledge of statistical analysis and computing to find every way the bully deviates from a social norm and make it public; the bully instantly capitulates: "HERE YOU GO! THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAIRNESS, SIR!" Panel 4: the boys note, "THE WORLD IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT THERE AREN'T ANY BULLIES." The joke: data-driven social conformity becomes its own form of coercion. Votey: an extreme close-up of a distressed man's face gazing upward, lamenting, "WHO WILL SING FOR THE BULLY?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.