2014-09-10
Original: 2014-09-10 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man with red hair: I just don't get how people fall for these crazy cult leaders.
Woman with glasses and dark hair: I thought you were looking for job openings.
Panel 2:
Woman with dark hair (cheerfully, leaning toward the red-haired man): Excuse me. Would you be interested in living for free on a country farm where you get to work with your hands every day and have 100% job security?
Man with red hair: What's the catch?
Panel 3:
Woman with dark hair: You have to believe in a very simple cosmology with clear rules, which was designed to make you feel good about yourself.
Panel 4:
Caption: TEN SECONDS LATER
Man with red hair (arms raised triumphantly): All glory to Zortran the alien god!
Votey:
A hand-lettered sequence showing the word "ZORTRAN" gradually morphing line by line until it becomes "ZACH":
ZORTRAN
ZORRAN
ZRRAN
ZACH
ZACH
Man with red hair: I just don't get how people fall for these crazy cult leaders.
Woman with glasses and dark hair: I thought you were looking for job openings.
Panel 2:
Woman with dark hair (cheerfully, leaning toward the red-haired man): Excuse me. Would you be interested in living for free on a country farm where you get to work with your hands every day and have 100% job security?
Man with red hair: What's the catch?
Panel 3:
Woman with dark hair: You have to believe in a very simple cosmology with clear rules, which was designed to make you feel good about yourself.
Panel 4:
Caption: TEN SECONDS LATER
Man with red hair (arms raised triumphantly): All glory to Zortran the alien god!
Votey:
A hand-lettered sequence showing the word "ZORTRAN" gradually morphing line by line until it becomes "ZACH":
ZORTRAN
ZORRAN
ZRRAN
ZACH
ZACH
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A red-haired man complains, "I just don't get how people fall for these crazy cult leaders." A woman in glasses replies, "I thought you were looking for job openings." Panel 2: A cheerful dark-haired woman pitches him: "Excuse me. Would you be interested in living for free on a country farm where you get to work with your hands every day and have 100% job security?" He asks, "What's the catch?" Panel 3: She answers, "You have to believe in a very simple cosmology with clear rules, which was designed to make you feel good about yourself." Panel 4: Captioned "TEN SECONDS LATER," the same man now stands with arms raised in joy, shouting, "All glory to Zortran the alien god!" -- having instantly become a cult convert despite his earlier mockery. Votey: A hand-lettered animation where the word "ZORTRAN" transforms line by line, letters shifting and dropping, until it spells the cartoonist's name "ZACH" -- implying the cult god is really just Zach Weinersmith.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.