2014-09-07
Original: 2014-09-07 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man in a suit (an executive): "HEY, SCIENTISTS! WE NEED A NEW DRUG FOR THIS YEAR. WHAT'S IN THIS JAR?"
A scientist (man in a lab coat): "THAT... THAT'S JUST PURE ETHANOL."
The executive: "NEVER HEARD OF IT. WHAT'S IT DO?"
Panel 2:
A TV news anchor at a desk: "BREAKING NEWS TODAY: RESEARCHERS HAVE DISCOVERED A CURE FOR PANTS."
Votey:
A smiling, satisfied-looking man with a speech bubble: "ALSO HANGOVERS."
A man in a suit (an executive): "HEY, SCIENTISTS! WE NEED A NEW DRUG FOR THIS YEAR. WHAT'S IN THIS JAR?"
A scientist (man in a lab coat): "THAT... THAT'S JUST PURE ETHANOL."
The executive: "NEVER HEARD OF IT. WHAT'S IT DO?"
Panel 2:
A TV news anchor at a desk: "BREAKING NEWS TODAY: RESEARCHERS HAVE DISCOVERED A CURE FOR PANTS."
Votey:
A smiling, satisfied-looking man with a speech bubble: "ALSO HANGOVERS."
Alt text
A two-panel comic mocking the pharmaceutical industry repackaging alcohol. Panel 1: A businessman in a suit holds up a jar and asks scientists in a lab, "Hey, scientists! We need a new drug for this year. What's in this jar?" A scientist replies, "That... that's just pure ethanol." The businessman says, "Never heard of it. What's it do?" Panel 2: A TV news anchor at a desk announces, "Breaking news today: Researchers have discovered a cure for pants." The joke is that ethanol (alcohol) is being marketed as a new miracle drug, with its effect being that it gets people drunk enough to take their pants off. Votey: A contented, smiling man adds, "Also hangovers," implying the drug also conveniently 'cures' (causes) hangovers.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.