2014-07-09
Original: 2014-07-09 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (red hair): Do you think we'd do it? If we met alien life that was intelligent like us, but lacked our flaws.
Man: Run like hell.
Panel 2:
Woman: Evolved creatures bear the indelible stamp of their lowly origins. They calculate. They cheat. They hurt. They kill. And in those things they take pleasure.
Panel 3:
Woman: If you're floating through outer space and you encounter a perfect species... something's off.
Panel 4:
Woman: So you have two possibilities. (1) This is the proper creation of a self-governing evolved organism. (2) It's a lie, and you're being trapped.
Panel 5:
Woman: Either way you're probably about to be killed.
Panel 6:
Man: What? That's just chauvinism. And there exist species that aren't horrible, like humans?
Woman: I call those species "food."
Votey:
Woman: Chicken is delicious because it is without sin.
Woman (red hair): Do you think we'd do it? If we met alien life that was intelligent like us, but lacked our flaws.
Man: Run like hell.
Panel 2:
Woman: Evolved creatures bear the indelible stamp of their lowly origins. They calculate. They cheat. They hurt. They kill. And in those things they take pleasure.
Panel 3:
Woman: If you're floating through outer space and you encounter a perfect species... something's off.
Panel 4:
Woman: So you have two possibilities. (1) This is the proper creation of a self-governing evolved organism. (2) It's a lie, and you're being trapped.
Panel 5:
Woman: Either way you're probably about to be killed.
Panel 6:
Man: What? That's just chauvinism. And there exist species that aren't horrible, like humans?
Woman: I call those species "food."
Votey:
Woman: Chicken is delicious because it is without sin.
Alt text
A six-panel comic of a conversation between a red-haired woman and a man, shot in dark, dramatic close-ups. The woman argues that any alien life we meet will, like us, be evolved creatures that calculate, cheat, hurt, kill, and take pleasure in it. She says if you encounter a seemingly perfect species in space, something is wrong: either it's a genuine self-governing evolved organism or it's a lie and a trap, and either way you're probably about to be killed. The man objects that this is chauvinism and asks whether species that aren't horrible (like humans) could exist. The woman replies, 'I call those species "food."' In the votey aftercomic, a close-up of the woman's face delivers the punchline: 'Chicken is delicious because it is without sin.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.