2014-03-28
Original: 2014-03-28 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Woman: Baby, for you, I would climb a mountain, swim an ocean, cross an entire galaxy.
Panel 2
Man: Would you run naked through a kids' amusement park with a swastika on your forehead, a cape with "FUCK CHINA" written on it, while I record it for the internet?
Panel 3
Woman: I... why?
Panel 4
Man: All the other stuff you offered to do would also make you attractive to other potential partners while enhancing your social status generally.
Panel 5
Man: Clearly you're hedging your bets in case things don't work out here. If you wanted things really devoted to me, you'd do something that made you undesirable to anyone but me.
Panel 6
Woman: So I guess what I'm asking is do you love me, or do you think I'm an idiot and you can't tell self-interest from devotion?
Panel 7
Woman: Okay, I'll do the swastika thing.
Man: You... you will?? Oh, Hank!
Panel 8
(Sound effect): COON...
Woman (gesturing to an archway reading "FUN CAVE"): WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
Panel 9 (caption box over a silhouetted figure)
THE GREATEST ROMANTIC OF ALL TIME.
Votey:
Caption: LATER...
Woman: ARE YOU THAT SWASTIKA GUY FROM YOUTUBE?
Woman: Baby, for you, I would climb a mountain, swim an ocean, cross an entire galaxy.
Panel 2
Man: Would you run naked through a kids' amusement park with a swastika on your forehead, a cape with "FUCK CHINA" written on it, while I record it for the internet?
Panel 3
Woman: I... why?
Panel 4
Man: All the other stuff you offered to do would also make you attractive to other potential partners while enhancing your social status generally.
Panel 5
Man: Clearly you're hedging your bets in case things don't work out here. If you wanted things really devoted to me, you'd do something that made you undesirable to anyone but me.
Panel 6
Woman: So I guess what I'm asking is do you love me, or do you think I'm an idiot and you can't tell self-interest from devotion?
Panel 7
Woman: Okay, I'll do the swastika thing.
Man: You... you will?? Oh, Hank!
Panel 8
(Sound effect): COON...
Woman (gesturing to an archway reading "FUN CAVE"): WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
Panel 9 (caption box over a silhouetted figure)
THE GREATEST ROMANTIC OF ALL TIME.
Votey:
Caption: LATER...
Woman: ARE YOU THAT SWASTIKA GUY FROM YOUTUBE?
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. A woman tells her partner she would climb a mountain, swim an ocean, and cross a galaxy for him. He counters by asking whether she would run naked through a kids' amusement park with a swastika on her forehead and a cape reading "FUCK CHINA" while he records it for the internet. She asks why. He explains that her grand romantic offers would only make her more attractive to other partners and raise her social status, so they prove she's hedging her bets; true devotion, he argues, would be doing something that makes her undesirable to everyone but him. She summarizes: does he love her, or does he think she's an idiot who can't tell self-interest from devotion? She then relents: "Okay, I'll do the swastika thing." He is overjoyed ("Oh, Hank!"). A final caption over a silhouette declares him "THE GREATEST ROMANTIC OF ALL TIME." The votey panel, captioned "LATER...", shows a different woman recognizing him: "ARE YOU THAT SWASTIKA GUY FROM YOUTUBE?" — the stunt has, ironically, made him recognizable and attractive to others, undercutting his own logic.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.