2014-03-24

A six-panel SMBC comic riffing on the biblical bargain between God and Abraham over Sodom. Panel 1: A glowing golden disc representing God booms, "ABRAHAM! IF YOU CAN FIND JUST FIFTY SINLESS INDIVIDUALS IN SODOM, I WILL SPARE IT FROM MY WRATH." A bearded man, Abraham, replies, "ON IT!" Panel 2: Abraham on a phone: "HI, KING OF SODOM? I'LL SAVE YOUR CITY FOR A THOUSAND SHEKELS. THAT'S LIKE A 99.9% DISCOUNT ON DISASTER RELIEF. YEAH. OKAY, AWESOME." Panel 3: Still on the phone: "HI, THE ORIENT? I NEED FIFTY SINLESS INDIVIDUALS. CAN I GET A VOLUME DISCOUNT?" Panel 4: Abraham stands outside a building with a sign reading EDEN ENTERPR(ISES), narrating, "EACH WAS RAISED IN A ROUND WHITE ROOM WITH A SMALL BOOK CONTAINING ONLY THE MOST BANAL PASSAGES OF SCRIPTURE" — i.e., mass-producing sinless people for resale. Panel 5: Caption 'SOON...'. God's golden disc says, "I FEEL LIKE YOU DIDN'T ABIDE BY THE SPIRIT OF THE BET." Abraham, now dressed like a flashy mogul with a crown, sunglasses, and gold chain, throws his arms wide and declares, "FREE TRADE MOTHER FUCKER." The joke: Abraham games the divine wager into a profiteering free-trade arbitrage. Votey (aftercomic): Captioned 'SOON...', a hand-drawn burning city skyline with a meteor streaking down from the sky, implying God smites it anyway.