2012-04-01
Original: 2012-04-01 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Cat (thinking): MY GOD... I'VE FIGURED OUT A CURE FOR ALL DISEASE. I'VE GOT TO EXPRESS IT TO THE HUMAN.
Panel 2:
Cat (raising one paw): IT'LL BE HARD TO EXPRESS SUCH A COMPLEX IDEA. I'LL HAVE TO USE NOISES AND ALL FIVE APPENDAGES.
Panel 3:
(A man with brown hair, seen from behind, watches the orange cat as it sprawls and rolls on the floor in the corner.)
Cat: MEW.
Panel 4:
(The man, now grinning, leans down to play with the cat, his hands reaching toward it.)
Man: WHO'S A LITTLE KITTY? YOOOOU'RE A LITTLE KITTY!
Cat (thinking): DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!
Votey:
Cat: PEOPLE ARE DYING! PEOPLE ARE D-- OH THAT FEELS NICE.
Cat (thinking): MY GOD... I'VE FIGURED OUT A CURE FOR ALL DISEASE. I'VE GOT TO EXPRESS IT TO THE HUMAN.
Panel 2:
Cat (raising one paw): IT'LL BE HARD TO EXPRESS SUCH A COMPLEX IDEA. I'LL HAVE TO USE NOISES AND ALL FIVE APPENDAGES.
Panel 3:
(A man with brown hair, seen from behind, watches the orange cat as it sprawls and rolls on the floor in the corner.)
Cat: MEW.
Panel 4:
(The man, now grinning, leans down to play with the cat, his hands reaching toward it.)
Man: WHO'S A LITTLE KITTY? YOOOOU'RE A LITTLE KITTY!
Cat (thinking): DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!
Votey:
Cat: PEOPLE ARE DYING! PEOPLE ARE D-- OH THAT FEELS NICE.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panels 1-2: a smug orange cat thinks, "My God... I've figured out a cure for all disease. I've got to express it to the human," then, raising a paw, "It'll be hard to express such a complex idea. I'll have to use noises and all five appendages." Panel 3: a brown-haired man watches the cat sprawl and roll on the floor while it says "Mew." Panel 4: the man grins and reaches down to play with it, cooing "Who's a little kitty? Yooou're a little kitty!" while the cat's increasingly desperate cure-for-all-disease comes across only as adorable behavior, and it thinks "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" Votey: the cat declares, "People are dying! People are d-- oh that feels nice," trailing off as it gets petted. The joke: a cat with a world-saving medical breakthrough cannot communicate it because every attempt just reads as cute, and even it gets distracted by being pet.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.