2012-04-02
Original: 2012-04-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A single panel set in the clouds outside Heaven. A balding man with brown hair, seen from behind, speaks to a bearded old man (St. Peter) standing at a podium with an open golden book.
Man (from behind): WAIT, SO... YOU HAVE TO SPEND ETERNITY STANDING AT A PODIUM OUTSIDE HEAVEN, TELLING PEOPLE THEY'RE GOING TO BE TORTURED IN HELL FOREVER?
Bearded man at podium (St. Peter): ...YEP. YEP, I DO.
Caption (below panel): What if Heaven is just a punishment for St. Peter?
Votey:
Close-up of the same balding man, now facing the bearded man, speaking pointedly.
Man: BY THE WAY, THANKS FOR ALL THE WARS, ASSHOLE
A single panel set in the clouds outside Heaven. A balding man with brown hair, seen from behind, speaks to a bearded old man (St. Peter) standing at a podium with an open golden book.
Man (from behind): WAIT, SO... YOU HAVE TO SPEND ETERNITY STANDING AT A PODIUM OUTSIDE HEAVEN, TELLING PEOPLE THEY'RE GOING TO BE TORTURED IN HELL FOREVER?
Bearded man at podium (St. Peter): ...YEP. YEP, I DO.
Caption (below panel): What if Heaven is just a punishment for St. Peter?
Votey:
Close-up of the same balding man, now facing the bearded man, speaking pointedly.
Man: BY THE WAY, THANKS FOR ALL THE WARS, ASSHOLE
Alt text
A single SMBC panel set in the clouds outside Heaven. A balding man with brown hair, seen from behind, talks to a bearded old man standing at a podium that holds an open golden book. The man asks: "Wait, so... you have to spend eternity standing at a podium outside Heaven, telling people they're going to be tortured in Hell forever?" The bearded man (St. Peter) replies resignedly: "...Yep. Yep, I do." A caption beneath reads: "What if Heaven is just a punishment for St. Peter?" Votey (aftercomic): a black-and-white close-up of the same balding man, now facing St. Peter, adding bitterly: "By the way, thanks for all the wars, asshole."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.