2012-03-30
Original: 2012-03-30 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Caption (top): I HAD TO GO IN FOR A BARIUM SWALLOW TEST LAST WEEK. *
Man with long orange hair and beard (speaking to a person with brown hair and glasses): AND THEN YOU WATCH A VIDEO OF IT GOING DOWN YOUR THROAT!
Caption (bottom): AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, THIS IS THE MEDICAL EQUIVALENT OF FRATERNITY HAZING.
Panel 2 (three sub-panels):
Sub-panel A:
A bald man (technician): DRINK THIS MYSTERY LIQUID.
Orange-haired man: OKAY.
Sub-panel B:
Technician: NOW SWALLOW THIS GIANT PILL.
Orange-haired man: OKAY.
Sub-panel C:
Technician: NOW THESE CRYSTALS WHICH GIVE YOU GAS.
Orange-haired man: COME ON!
Panel 3:
Caption (top): AFTERWARD, I NOTICED SOMETHING STRANGE.
Orange-haired man (thought bubble): WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I DESERVE A REWARD.
Caption (bottom): THEN I REALIZED IT.
Panel 4:
Orange-haired man (thought bubble): OH MY GOD. MY ENTIRE LIFE, WHENEVER SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO ME, I GOT AN ICE CREAM. I HAVE AN UNNATURAL PAVLOVIAN ASSOCIATION BETWEEN SUFFERING AND REWARD THAT'S SO INTERNALIZED THAT I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT WAS THERE.
Panel 5:
(The orange-haired man sits silently, smiling slightly to himself. No dialogue.)
Votey:
The orange-haired man sits in a car (in the driver's seat, holding a pen).
Man (thought bubble): I WONDER IF THIS IS WHY PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS SUING EACH OTHER.
Caption (bottom, handwritten): *everything was fine
Caption (top): I HAD TO GO IN FOR A BARIUM SWALLOW TEST LAST WEEK. *
Man with long orange hair and beard (speaking to a person with brown hair and glasses): AND THEN YOU WATCH A VIDEO OF IT GOING DOWN YOUR THROAT!
Caption (bottom): AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, THIS IS THE MEDICAL EQUIVALENT OF FRATERNITY HAZING.
Panel 2 (three sub-panels):
Sub-panel A:
A bald man (technician): DRINK THIS MYSTERY LIQUID.
Orange-haired man: OKAY.
Sub-panel B:
Technician: NOW SWALLOW THIS GIANT PILL.
Orange-haired man: OKAY.
Sub-panel C:
Technician: NOW THESE CRYSTALS WHICH GIVE YOU GAS.
Orange-haired man: COME ON!
Panel 3:
Caption (top): AFTERWARD, I NOTICED SOMETHING STRANGE.
Orange-haired man (thought bubble): WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I DESERVE A REWARD.
Caption (bottom): THEN I REALIZED IT.
Panel 4:
Orange-haired man (thought bubble): OH MY GOD. MY ENTIRE LIFE, WHENEVER SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO ME, I GOT AN ICE CREAM. I HAVE AN UNNATURAL PAVLOVIAN ASSOCIATION BETWEEN SUFFERING AND REWARD THAT'S SO INTERNALIZED THAT I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT WAS THERE.
Panel 5:
(The orange-haired man sits silently, smiling slightly to himself. No dialogue.)
Votey:
The orange-haired man sits in a car (in the driver's seat, holding a pen).
Man (thought bubble): I WONDER IF THIS IS WHY PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS SUING EACH OTHER.
Caption (bottom, handwritten): *everything was fine
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic in which a man with long orange hair and a beard recounts a medical test. Panel 1: a red caption reads "I had to go in for a barium swallow test last week," and the man tells a bespectacled friend, "And then you watch a video of it going down your throat! As far as I can tell, this is the medical equivalent of fraternity hazing." Panel 2 (three small frames): a bald technician issues escalating demands while the man complies: "Drink this mystery liquid." "Okay." "Now swallow this giant pill." "Okay." "Now these crystals which give you gas." "Come on!" Panel 3: afterward the man thinks, "Why do I feel like I deserve a reward." Panel 4: he has a realization in a long thought bubble: "Oh my god. My entire life, whenever something bad happened to me, I got an ice cream. I have an unnatural Pavlovian association between suffering and reward that's so internalized that I didn't even realize it was there." Panel 5: he sits silently with a small, slightly unsettled smile. Votey (aftercomic): the man sits in a car holding a pen, thinking, "I wonder if this is why people are always suing each other." A handwritten caption reads "*everything was fine."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.