ohyesrobot.ordoliberal.com

2009-12-01

Original: 2009-12-01 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

A bar chart. Y-axis label: AWKWARDNESS. X-axis label: PHRASES FOLLOWED BY "JUST LIKE IN MOVIES".

Three bars of increasing height, each with a line pointing to a labeled quote:

Shortest bar (lightest red): "WOW, YOU'RE AN ASTRONAUT!"

Medium bar: "WOW, YOU'RE HOMELESS!"

Tallest bar (darkest red): "WOW, YOU'RE A LESBIAN!"

Votey:
A framed sign reading: USEFUL EMOTIONAL UNITS
- ANGER: MILLIHULKS (formerly millihydes)
- FEAR: DECIPANTSCRAPS
- AWKWARDNESS: MICROWEINERS

Alt text

A hand-drawn bar chart plots AWKWARDNESS (y-axis) against "phrases followed by 'just like in movies'" (x-axis). Three red bars rise in height, each labeled with a quote. The shortest bar: "Wow, you're an astronaut!" The medium bar: "Wow, you're homeless!" The tallest bar: "Wow, you're a lesbian!" The joke: tacking "just like in the movies" onto a statement gets more awkward the more personal and identity-related the subject. Votey: a framed list titled USEFUL EMOTIONAL UNITS gives mock measurement units for emotions: Anger in millihulks (formerly millihydes), Fear in decipantscraps, and Awkwardness in microweiners.

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.