2009-12-04
Original: 2009-12-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narration caption): WITH THE COMET UPON US, AND ESCAPE VEHICLES LIMITED, A HARD CHOICE WAS MADE.
[A flaming comet streaks toward Earth across a starfield.]
Panel 2 (narration caption): WE WOULD PUT ALL THE CHILDREN INTO SPACESHIPS, AND SEND THEM OFF INTO THE STARS.
[A man and a woman stand together; the woman holds a baby bottle near a baby strapped into a small spaceship pod. Other pods fly off in the background.]
Panel 3 (narration caption): WE LOVED THEM DEARLY, BUT HAD TO LET THEM GO FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY'S FUTURE.
[A red-haired woman in space looks sadly out a window; a tiny Earth glows in the distance and a spaceship pod drifts past.]
Panel 4 (narration caption): OR AT LEAST... THAT'S WHAT THE SHIPS' LOGS WILL TELL THEM...
[A crowd of adults parties indoors, drinking and cheering. A banner reads:] NO KIDS DAY!
Votey:
[A woman wearing a party hat speaks into the camera.]
Woman: BY THE TIME YOU SEE THIS VIDEO... WE WILL ALL BE DEAD.
[She blows a party horn.] BWOOO!
[A flaming comet streaks toward Earth across a starfield.]
Panel 2 (narration caption): WE WOULD PUT ALL THE CHILDREN INTO SPACESHIPS, AND SEND THEM OFF INTO THE STARS.
[A man and a woman stand together; the woman holds a baby bottle near a baby strapped into a small spaceship pod. Other pods fly off in the background.]
Panel 3 (narration caption): WE LOVED THEM DEARLY, BUT HAD TO LET THEM GO FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY'S FUTURE.
[A red-haired woman in space looks sadly out a window; a tiny Earth glows in the distance and a spaceship pod drifts past.]
Panel 4 (narration caption): OR AT LEAST... THAT'S WHAT THE SHIPS' LOGS WILL TELL THEM...
[A crowd of adults parties indoors, drinking and cheering. A banner reads:] NO KIDS DAY!
Votey:
[A woman wearing a party hat speaks into the camera.]
Woman: BY THE TIME YOU SEE THIS VIDEO... WE WILL ALL BE DEAD.
[She blows a party horn.] BWOOO!
Alt text
A four-panel comic narrated as a noble sacrifice that turns out to be a lie. Panel 1: a flaming comet streaks toward Earth. Caption: "With the comet upon us, and escape vehicles limited, a hard choice was made." Panel 2: a couple loads a baby into a small spaceship pod while other pods launch. Caption: "We would put all the children into spaceships, and send them off into the stars." Panel 3: a sad red-haired woman gazes from a window at a tiny distant Earth as a pod drifts by. Caption: "We loved them dearly, but had to let them go for the sake of humanity's future." Panel 4: the twist reveals a roomful of adults partying and cheering under a banner reading "NO KIDS DAY!" Caption: "Or at least... that's what the ships' logs will tell them..." The joke: the parents didn't sacrifice their children to save them, they shipped the kids off so they could party, and faked the heartfelt logs. Votey: a black-and-white panel of a woman in a party hat speaking to a camera, saying "By the time you see this video... we will all be dead," then gleefully blowing a party horn ("BWOOO!").
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.