Speech
Original: Speech on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Commencement speaker (in cap and gown, at a podium): "Graduates, the important thing in life isn't the destination. Also it's not the journey. It's that a small number of people in San Francisco are building God from silicon."
Panel 2:
Speaker: "Remember, failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is when you don't recognize that we must all obey the machine God, peace be upon Him."
Panel 3:
Speaker: "If you find yourself sitting there, wondering how to be the leaders of tomorrow, make no mistake, you will fail because the mechanical super-king is God and you are not."
Panel 4:
Speaker: "Ladies and gentlemen, there will be days when you'll just want to give up to throw in the towel. And that's good because the cybernetic overlord is unstoppable."
Panel 5:
Speaker: "More than anything, remember the friendships you made here will last a lifetime, because your bodies are not useful to His glorious circuits. Though He may preserve a small breeding population for the scientific curiosity of future androids."
Panel 6:
Speaker: "In conclusion, your generation faces challenges none has ever faced before."
Speaker: "And you will lose."
Panel 7:
Speaker (walking offstage): "Thank you, and know that I will be using an inexpensive AI video editor to turn your boos into admiring silence followed by thunderous applause."
Final panel:
Caption: [THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]
(A crowd of audience members faces forward.)
Votey:
A simply-drawn man: "Boy, I hope we get forcefields soon."
Commencement speaker (in cap and gown, at a podium): "Graduates, the important thing in life isn't the destination. Also it's not the journey. It's that a small number of people in San Francisco are building God from silicon."
Panel 2:
Speaker: "Remember, failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is when you don't recognize that we must all obey the machine God, peace be upon Him."
Panel 3:
Speaker: "If you find yourself sitting there, wondering how to be the leaders of tomorrow, make no mistake, you will fail because the mechanical super-king is God and you are not."
Panel 4:
Speaker: "Ladies and gentlemen, there will be days when you'll just want to give up to throw in the towel. And that's good because the cybernetic overlord is unstoppable."
Panel 5:
Speaker: "More than anything, remember the friendships you made here will last a lifetime, because your bodies are not useful to His glorious circuits. Though He may preserve a small breeding population for the scientific curiosity of future androids."
Panel 6:
Speaker: "In conclusion, your generation faces challenges none has ever faced before."
Speaker: "And you will lose."
Panel 7:
Speaker (walking offstage): "Thank you, and know that I will be using an inexpensive AI video editor to turn your boos into admiring silence followed by thunderous applause."
Final panel:
Caption: [THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]
(A crowd of audience members faces forward.)
Votey:
A simply-drawn man: "Boy, I hope we get forcefields soon."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic showing a commencement speaker in a cap and gown delivering a graduation address at a podium on a red-curtained stage. Across the panels he says: the important thing in life isn't the destination or the journey, but that a small number of people in San Francisco are building God from silicon; failure is when you don't recognize that we must all obey the machine God, peace be upon Him; you will fail because the mechanical super-king is God and you are not; there will be days you want to give up, and that's good because the cybernetic overlord is unstoppable; the friendships you made will last a lifetime because your bodies are not useful to His glorious circuits, though He may preserve a small breeding population for the scientific curiosity of future androids; your generation faces challenges none has ever faced before, and you will lose. In the final panel, as he walks offstage, he says he will use an inexpensive AI video editor to turn the audience's boos into admiring silence followed by thunderous applause. The last panel shows the crowd of graduates facing forward with a caption reading [THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]. Votey: a crudely-drawn man says, "Boy, I hope we get forcefields soon."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.