Consciousness
Original: Consciousness on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (looking up): God, why do we have consciousness?
God (off-panel, speech bubble): It's a bandwidth issue.
Panel 2:
God: Your brain is made up of like 4,000 competing agents because that's the only way to make sense of all the input data.
Panel 3:
God: But you can't have your 4,000 agents talk to another human brain. All the agents' work has to be compressed down to a sound wave.
Panel 4:
God: So you had to evolve another agent who receives the judgment of the brain parliament, then makes the mouth say something like "I am sad."
Panel 5:
God: That's you!
Panel 6:
God: Telepathic species don't bother with consciousness because they have higher bandwidth.
Panel 7:
God: The real mystery is why "you" think your disastrously flawed perception of reality is interesting enough to rise to the level of a philosophical mystery.
Panel 8:
Man (in silhouette): I am sad.
God: Good job buddy!
Votey:
Caption (continuing God's line): ...way to obey a large number of subconscious processes!
(Image: a man smiling contentedly with eyes closed.)
Man (looking up): God, why do we have consciousness?
God (off-panel, speech bubble): It's a bandwidth issue.
Panel 2:
God: Your brain is made up of like 4,000 competing agents because that's the only way to make sense of all the input data.
Panel 3:
God: But you can't have your 4,000 agents talk to another human brain. All the agents' work has to be compressed down to a sound wave.
Panel 4:
God: So you had to evolve another agent who receives the judgment of the brain parliament, then makes the mouth say something like "I am sad."
Panel 5:
God: That's you!
Panel 6:
God: Telepathic species don't bother with consciousness because they have higher bandwidth.
Panel 7:
God: The real mystery is why "you" think your disastrously flawed perception of reality is interesting enough to rise to the level of a philosophical mystery.
Panel 8:
Man (in silhouette): I am sad.
God: Good job buddy!
Votey:
Caption (continuing God's line): ...way to obey a large number of subconscious processes!
(Image: a man smiling contentedly with eyes closed.)
Alt text
An eight-panel black-and-white comic. A man asks an unseen God why humans have consciousness. God explains it is a bandwidth issue: the brain is made of about 4,000 competing agents needed to process input, but their work must be compressed into a sound wave to communicate with another human brain. So evolution produced one extra agent that receives the verdict of this "brain parliament" and makes the mouth say things like "I am sad" — and God says, "That's you!" God adds that telepathic species skip consciousness because they have higher bandwidth, and that the real mystery is why "you" think your disastrously flawed perception of reality rises to the level of a philosophical mystery. In the final panel the man, now shown in silhouette, flatly says "I am sad," and God cheers, "Good job buddy!" Votey: the caption continues God's praise — "...way to obey a large number of subconscious processes!" — over a drawing of a man smiling peacefully with his eyes closed.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.