Sin
Original: Sin on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Young priest (red hair): Father, is homosexuality sinful?
Panel 2:
Young priest: What?! The Bible INSISTS you have to be gay over and over!
Panel 3:
Older priest (bald, glasses): Leviticus 18:22 "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman." That means no doing a biological man in the vagina. Only in the mouth or butt.
Panel 4:
Young priest: Doesn't 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 say no homosexuality?
Panel 5:
Older priest: In Greek, it says no APSENOKOITAI. No being a "man-bedder." That's Paul saying spice it up! Leave the bed! Do it on the couch! On the floor! Go to the beach!
Panel 6:
Young priest: Weren't the Sodomites destroyed for being gay?
Panel 7:
Older priest: Uh no? They were destroyed for trying to force sex on genderless spirits temporarily inhabiting male bodies. It's practically unrelated.
Panel 8:
Older priest: In fact, their main sin is considered to be inhospitality. And you know what's a NICE, HOSPITABLE thing you can do for a male visitor?
Panel 9:
Young priest: Wow.
Panel 10:
Older priest: I like the conclusion, but maybe better to just dispense with the text if you're going to stretch it this much.
Panel 11:
Older priest: Did I mention that interpretation isn't the only thing I'm flexible with?
Votey:
Older priest (smiling): Understanding the validity of my theological arguments isn't the only thing hard around here.
Young priest (red hair): Father, is homosexuality sinful?
Panel 2:
Young priest: What?! The Bible INSISTS you have to be gay over and over!
Panel 3:
Older priest (bald, glasses): Leviticus 18:22 "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman." That means no doing a biological man in the vagina. Only in the mouth or butt.
Panel 4:
Young priest: Doesn't 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 say no homosexuality?
Panel 5:
Older priest: In Greek, it says no APSENOKOITAI. No being a "man-bedder." That's Paul saying spice it up! Leave the bed! Do it on the couch! On the floor! Go to the beach!
Panel 6:
Young priest: Weren't the Sodomites destroyed for being gay?
Panel 7:
Older priest: Uh no? They were destroyed for trying to force sex on genderless spirits temporarily inhabiting male bodies. It's practically unrelated.
Panel 8:
Older priest: In fact, their main sin is considered to be inhospitality. And you know what's a NICE, HOSPITABLE thing you can do for a male visitor?
Panel 9:
Young priest: Wow.
Panel 10:
Older priest: I like the conclusion, but maybe better to just dispense with the text if you're going to stretch it this much.
Panel 11:
Older priest: Did I mention that interpretation isn't the only thing I'm flexible with?
Votey:
Older priest (smiling): Understanding the validity of my theological arguments isn't the only thing hard around here.
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. A young red-haired priest asks an older bald, bespectacled priest whether homosexuality is sinful. The young priest then insists the Bible demands being gay "over and over." The older priest gives increasingly strained reinterpretations of scripture to argue the Bible endorses gay sex: he reframes Leviticus 18:22 as only forbidding vaginal sex with a man (allowing mouth or butt), reads the Greek word in 1 Corinthians as Paul encouraging variety in location ("spice it up! Go to the beach!"), and claims the Sodomites were destroyed for inhospitality, then asks what hospitable thing one can do for a male visitor. The young priest, awed, says "Wow." The older priest then breaks character to advise that it might be better to just dispense with the text if you're going to stretch it this much, and adds that interpretation isn't the only thing he's flexible with. In the votey afterimage, the older priest smiles and says that understanding the validity of his theological arguments isn't the only thing hard around here, making explicit that his elaborate scriptural argument was a seduction attempt.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.