raiders
Original: raiders on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a long-haired man, shirtless, gesturing dramatically):
"I remember the day the raiders came for our village. I was only a boy."
Panel 2 (the man continues; a blonde woman listens at the edge of the frame):
"There was neither day nor night. The sky was black with ash, the land glowing pale as flames swallowed our homes."
Panel 3 (the bearded man, fist raised, holding a club):
"The elders were murdered. The holy treasures stolen. The tombs of our ancestors desecrated."
Panel 4 (the man and the blonde woman in bed together):
Man: "Anyway, to answer your question, I think about that and it buys me about 45 seconds, every single time."
Woman (thought/aside, in a separate caption box): "Sex for men is not like sex for women."
Votey:
Close-up of the man's smug, satisfied face:
"If I throw in the starving winter that came afterward I can get up to a minute and a half!"
"I remember the day the raiders came for our village. I was only a boy."
Panel 2 (the man continues; a blonde woman listens at the edge of the frame):
"There was neither day nor night. The sky was black with ash, the land glowing pale as flames swallowed our homes."
Panel 3 (the bearded man, fist raised, holding a club):
"The elders were murdered. The holy treasures stolen. The tombs of our ancestors desecrated."
Panel 4 (the man and the blonde woman in bed together):
Man: "Anyway, to answer your question, I think about that and it buys me about 45 seconds, every single time."
Woman (thought/aside, in a separate caption box): "Sex for men is not like sex for women."
Votey:
Close-up of the man's smug, satisfied face:
"If I throw in the starving winter that came afterward I can get up to a minute and a half!"
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. In the first three panels, a long-haired, shirtless man recounts a harrowing tale with dramatic, anguished expressions: he remembers the day raiders came for his village when he was only a boy, the sky black with ash and the land glowing as flames swallowed their homes, the elders murdered, holy treasures stolen, and ancestral tombs desecrated. In the final panel, the scene reveals he and a blonde woman are in bed together; he says, 'Anyway, to answer your question, I think about that and it buys me about 45 seconds, every single time.' A caption notes the woman's deadpan reaction: 'Sex for men is not like sex for women.' The joke: he recalls a traumatic massacre as a mental delay tactic to last longer in bed. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the man's smug, pleased face as he adds, 'If I throw in the starving winter that came afterward I can get up to a minute and a half!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.