the-trees
Original: the-trees on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A person wearing glasses and headphones holds up a small device with a screen, addressing two loggers wearing hard hats who carry chainsaws.
Person with the device: "STOP, LOGGERS! I HAVE CREATED A TREE LANGUAGE TRANSLATION DEVICE. LET THE TREES SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!"
Panel 2:
The view is on the trees. A speech bubble emanating from the trees (as translated by the device).
Tree (via device): "MURDER THE OLD ONES! CHOP THEM DOWN FIRST! MY SISTERS AND I MIGHT THRIVE!"
Panel 3:
The person with the device looks back over their shoulder.
Person with the device: "PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE TREES!"
Panel 4:
The two loggers stand together.
One logger: "WE MUST SPARE THEM. THEY ARE SO HUMAN."
The other logger: "OKAY, LET'S GO WITH THAT, THEN."
Votey:
A tree with a leafy top is shown with a large speech bubble coming from the canopy.
Tree: "STARVE, SAPLINGS! STARVE! STARVE!"
A person wearing glasses and headphones holds up a small device with a screen, addressing two loggers wearing hard hats who carry chainsaws.
Person with the device: "STOP, LOGGERS! I HAVE CREATED A TREE LANGUAGE TRANSLATION DEVICE. LET THE TREES SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!"
Panel 2:
The view is on the trees. A speech bubble emanating from the trees (as translated by the device).
Tree (via device): "MURDER THE OLD ONES! CHOP THEM DOWN FIRST! MY SISTERS AND I MIGHT THRIVE!"
Panel 3:
The person with the device looks back over their shoulder.
Person with the device: "PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE TREES!"
Panel 4:
The two loggers stand together.
One logger: "WE MUST SPARE THEM. THEY ARE SO HUMAN."
The other logger: "OKAY, LET'S GO WITH THAT, THEN."
Votey:
A tree with a leafy top is shown with a large speech bubble coming from the canopy.
Tree: "STARVE, SAPLINGS! STARVE! STARVE!"
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A person in glasses and headphones holds up a handheld screen device, telling two chainsaw-wielding loggers in hard hats, "Stop, loggers! I have created a tree language translation device. Let the trees speak for themselves!" Panel 2: The device translates the trees, whose speech bubble reads, "Murder the old ones! Chop them down first! My sisters and I might thrive!" Panel 3: The inventor, embarrassed, looks back and says, "Pay no attention to the trees!" Panel 4: One logger says, "We must spare them. They are so human," and the other replies, "Okay, let's go with that, then" the loggers find the trees' ruthless self-interest relatable rather than horrifying. Votey: A single leafy tree shouts from its canopy, "Starve, saplings! Starve! Starve!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.