abstinence
Original: abstinence on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Teacher (a woman with dark curly hair, in a red jacket, at the front of a classroom): Of course, the very best way to avoid an STD is total abstinence.
Panel 2:
Student (a young person with orange/red hair in a green shirt, raising their hand among other seated students): What if someone created tiny robot bees that transported genital tissue between unknowing people!?
Panel 3:
The orange-haired student (close-up, agitated, shouting): Where would your precious abstinence be then!?!
Panel 4:
(Silhouettes of the teacher and student against a black background.)
Teacher: This is sex ed. Please hold on to your evil hypotheticals for poli sci.
Student: Yes ma'am.
Votey:
Teacher (speaking in a large speech bubble): Remember kids, the best way to abstain is a premium account on our sponsor, porngea.com
Teacher (a woman with dark curly hair, in a red jacket, at the front of a classroom): Of course, the very best way to avoid an STD is total abstinence.
Panel 2:
Student (a young person with orange/red hair in a green shirt, raising their hand among other seated students): What if someone created tiny robot bees that transported genital tissue between unknowing people!?
Panel 3:
The orange-haired student (close-up, agitated, shouting): Where would your precious abstinence be then!?!
Panel 4:
(Silhouettes of the teacher and student against a black background.)
Teacher: This is sex ed. Please hold on to your evil hypotheticals for poli sci.
Student: Yes ma'am.
Votey:
Teacher (speaking in a large speech bubble): Remember kids, the best way to abstain is a premium account on our sponsor, porngea.com
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic set in a classroom. Panel 1: A teacher in a red jacket says, "Of course, the very best way to avoid an STD is total abstinence." Panel 2: A red-haired student raises a hand among seated classmates and asks, "What if someone created tiny robot bees that transported genital tissue between unknowing people!?" Panel 3: A close-up of the same student, face contorted with intensity, shouting, "Where would your precious abstinence be then!?!" Panel 4: The two are shown as silhouettes against black; the teacher replies, "This is sex ed. Please hold on to your evil hypotheticals for poli sci," and the student answers, "Yes ma'am." The joke: a student's wildly elaborate sci-fi hypothetical gets shut down for being off-topic. Votey (a single bonus panel): The teacher, smiling, adds, "Remember kids, the best way to abstain is a premium account on our sponsor, porngea.com" - a mock sponsorship gag.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.