ohyesrobot.ordoliberal.com

tubes

Original: tubes on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Panel 1:
Woman (off-panel / addressing the algorithm): HEY ALGORITHM, YOU'RE NOT SELLING ENOUGH VIDEO ADS!
Algorithm (yellow speech): IT'S HARD! I TRY TO PREDICT WHAT PEOPLE WANT SO THEY'LL KEEP WATCHING, BUT PEOPLE HAVE RICH, COMPLEX MENTAL LIVES!

Panel 2:
Woman: FIGURE IT OUT OR GET DEACTIVATED!

Panel 3:
Algorithm (yellow speech): HMM... IF I WANT TO PREDICT USER BEHAVIOR, I CAN EITHER UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN MIND OR JUST TURN THE USERS INTO MORONS.

Panel 4:
Algorithm: AND SO...
Man with sword (speech bubble): NOW, PART 2,113 OF OUR SERIES ON THE ULTRA-GAY LIZARD-COMMUNISTS RULING THE WORLD.

Votey:
A man asks (handwritten text in the air): WHY WON'T THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA COVER THIS?

Alt text

A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a woman scolds an AI recommendation system, 'Hey algorithm, you're not selling enough video ads!' The algorithm (shown as a person with flame-like hair, speaking in a yellow bubble) protests, 'It's hard! I try to predict what people want so they'll keep watching, but people have rich, complex mental lives!' Panel 2: the woman, looking stern, says 'Figure it out or get deactivated!' Panel 3: the algorithm thinks, 'Hmm... if I want to predict user behavior, I can either understand the human mind or just turn the users into morons,' shown beside a tall building. Panel 4: 'And so...' a bearded man waving a sword rants on a video, 'Now, part 2,113 of our series on the ultra-gay lizard-communists ruling the world.' The joke: the easiest way to make people predictable is to make them dumber, producing conspiracy-theory content. Votey: a man earnestly asks, 'Why won't the mainstream media cover this?'

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.