macro-2
Original: macro-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (eyes closed, hands pressed together in prayer): DEAR GOD, I'VE MACROED ALL OF MY PRAYERS.
Panel 2:
Man (in profile, gesturing): I'M USING A CLOUD-BASED SYSTEM SO THE PRAYERS WILL NOT ONLY GO ON FOREVER, BUT WILL UPTICK IN FREQUENCY AS THE PRICE OF COMPUTER OPERATIONS GOES DOWN.
Panel 3:
Man (eyes closed, hands together): YOU WON'T HEAR FROM ME PERSONALLY ANY MORE, BUT GIVEN THAT I WROTE THE PROGRAM, YOU SHOULD CONSIDER AS A REGULAR DEVOTEE OF MY FAITH, AND GIVE ME THE REWARDS THAT COME WITH IT.
Panel 4 (caption banner: LATER...):
The man's severed/disembodied head lies in a fiery underworld. Man: BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE PRAYERS I SENT?
A red, horned, winged devil seated at a podium/lectern reading a book: WOW. LOOKS LIKE THEY WENT RIGHT TO SPAM.
Votey:
The devil (close-up) says: SORRY ABOUT THE ETERNITY OF TORMENT, BUT NEXT TIME CHECK YOUR SETTINGS WHEN YOU DON'T GET REPLIES.
Man (eyes closed, hands pressed together in prayer): DEAR GOD, I'VE MACROED ALL OF MY PRAYERS.
Panel 2:
Man (in profile, gesturing): I'M USING A CLOUD-BASED SYSTEM SO THE PRAYERS WILL NOT ONLY GO ON FOREVER, BUT WILL UPTICK IN FREQUENCY AS THE PRICE OF COMPUTER OPERATIONS GOES DOWN.
Panel 3:
Man (eyes closed, hands together): YOU WON'T HEAR FROM ME PERSONALLY ANY MORE, BUT GIVEN THAT I WROTE THE PROGRAM, YOU SHOULD CONSIDER AS A REGULAR DEVOTEE OF MY FAITH, AND GIVE ME THE REWARDS THAT COME WITH IT.
Panel 4 (caption banner: LATER...):
The man's severed/disembodied head lies in a fiery underworld. Man: BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE PRAYERS I SENT?
A red, horned, winged devil seated at a podium/lectern reading a book: WOW. LOOKS LIKE THEY WENT RIGHT TO SPAM.
Votey:
The devil (close-up) says: SORRY ABOUT THE ETERNITY OF TORMENT, BUT NEXT TIME CHECK YOUR SETTINGS WHEN YOU DON'T GET REPLIES.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: a shirtless man with brown hair prays with eyes closed and hands pressed together, saying "Dear God, I've macroed all of my prayers." Panel 2: shown in profile, he gestures and explains, "I'm using a cloud-based system so the prayers will not only go on forever, but will uptick in frequency as the price of computer operations goes down." Panel 3: still praying, he continues, "You won't hear from me personally any more, but given that I wrote the program, you should consider as a regular devotee of my faith, and give me the rewards that come with it." Panel 4, with a banner reading "LATER...": the man's head lies in a fiery, hellish landscape and he asks, "But what about all those prayers I sent?" A red, horned, bat-winged devil stands at a lectern reading a book and replies, "Wow. Looks like they went right to spam." Votey: a close-up of the smug devil, who says, "Sorry about the eternity of torment, but next time check your settings when you don't get replies."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.