life-online
Original: life-online on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: A BRIEF HISTORY OF LIFE ONLINE
STAGE 1: EXCITEMENT
Man (at an old desktop computer): "NOW THAT THE INTERNET EXISTS, I DON'T NEED TO TALK TO MY NEIGHBORS. I CAN GET A FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE THAT AGREES WITH ME ABOUT EVERYTHING!"
STAGE 2: HAPPINESS
Man: "AHH! FINALLY I HAVE FOUND MY HOME AMONG A NARROW IN-GROUP OF PEOPLE CONSTANTLY INVOKING PURITY TESTS ON ONE ANOTHER."
STAGE 3: DISILLUSIONMENT
Man: "HUH. I HAVE BECOME SO INSULAR THAT I'VE LOST THE ABILITY TO INTERACT WITH MY LOCAL COMMUNITY."
STAGE 4: CONFUSION
Man (in shadow): "I WONDER WHY I FEEL SO ANXIOUS AND DISCONNECTED ALL THE TIME."
STAGE 5: RETURN TO THE INTERNET
Man (back at the computer): "MY POLITICAL OPPONENTS ARE TO BLAME."
Votey:
A close-up profile drawing of a man's face. A word floats above him: "BONAPARTISTS!"
STAGE 1: EXCITEMENT
Man (at an old desktop computer): "NOW THAT THE INTERNET EXISTS, I DON'T NEED TO TALK TO MY NEIGHBORS. I CAN GET A FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE THAT AGREES WITH ME ABOUT EVERYTHING!"
STAGE 2: HAPPINESS
Man: "AHH! FINALLY I HAVE FOUND MY HOME AMONG A NARROW IN-GROUP OF PEOPLE CONSTANTLY INVOKING PURITY TESTS ON ONE ANOTHER."
STAGE 3: DISILLUSIONMENT
Man: "HUH. I HAVE BECOME SO INSULAR THAT I'VE LOST THE ABILITY TO INTERACT WITH MY LOCAL COMMUNITY."
STAGE 4: CONFUSION
Man (in shadow): "I WONDER WHY I FEEL SO ANXIOUS AND DISCONNECTED ALL THE TIME."
STAGE 5: RETURN TO THE INTERNET
Man (back at the computer): "MY POLITICAL OPPONENTS ARE TO BLAME."
Votey:
A close-up profile drawing of a man's face. A word floats above him: "BONAPARTISTS!"
Alt text
A five-panel comic titled "A Brief History of Life Online," showing the same man at his desktop computer through emotional stages. Stage 1 (Excitement): he says now that the internet exists he doesn't need to talk to his neighbors and can get a friendship circle that agrees with him about everything. Stage 2 (Happiness): he's found his home among a narrow in-group of people constantly invoking purity tests on one another. Stage 3 (Disillusionment): he's become so insular he's lost the ability to interact with his local community. Stage 4 (Confusion): now drawn in shadow, he wonders why he feels so anxious and disconnected all the time. Stage 5 (Return to the Internet): back at the computer, he concludes "My political opponents are to blame." The cycle loops back to online blame instead of self-reflection. Votey: a close-up profile sketch of a man's face with the word "BONAPARTISTS!" floating above him, as a sample of the absurd factional enemy he might rail against.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.