psyops
Original: psyops on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (with orange/red hair): Ha! Your alien weapons are no match for human ingenuity, Gorblax!
Panel 2:
Green alien (standing on a small platform): Very well. I didn't want it to come to this, but I'll have to declare the one fact that will psychologically devastate humanity forever.
Panel 3:
Man: Impossible! You could never understand our psyches well enough to do that!
Panel 4 (alien speaking):
Alien: All affection from dogs is actually sarcasm.
Panel 5:
The green alien stands silently, big eyes, having delivered the line.
Panel 6:
The man weeps uncontrollably, face streaming with tears, mouth open in anguish.
Votey:
A dog's head with a happy open-mouthed, tongue-out expression has a thought bubble reading: "Christ."
Man (with orange/red hair): Ha! Your alien weapons are no match for human ingenuity, Gorblax!
Panel 2:
Green alien (standing on a small platform): Very well. I didn't want it to come to this, but I'll have to declare the one fact that will psychologically devastate humanity forever.
Panel 3:
Man: Impossible! You could never understand our psyches well enough to do that!
Panel 4 (alien speaking):
Alien: All affection from dogs is actually sarcasm.
Panel 5:
The green alien stands silently, big eyes, having delivered the line.
Panel 6:
The man weeps uncontrollably, face streaming with tears, mouth open in anguish.
Votey:
A dog's head with a happy open-mouthed, tongue-out expression has a thought bubble reading: "Christ."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. An orange-haired man confronts a small green alien he calls Gorblax, boasting that human ingenuity beats the alien's weapons. The alien calmly says it will declare the one fact that will psychologically devastate humanity forever. The man scoffs that the alien could never understand human psyches well enough. The alien replies: "All affection from dogs is actually sarcasm." The alien stands silent and impassive while the man bursts into uncontrollable, tear-streaming sobs. Votey: a cheerful, tongue-out dog with a thought bubble that simply reads "Christ." -- implying the dog is exasperated, confirming the alien's claim.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.