pickup
Original: pickup on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Two women stand at a bar watching a red-haired man approach women.
Woman with glasses (Jane): "Look at that guy. He just keeps going to women, asking the same pathetic pickup line."
Panel 2: Close-up of the glasses-wearing woman, Jane.
Jane: "I did this to him."
Panel 3: A flashback. The red-haired man speaks earnestly to a woman.
Jane (narrating): "Long ago, he approached me with a line he'd pulled from the internet."
Panel 4: Close-up of Jane.
Jane (narrating): "My body told me to reject him, but my mind said... DO HIM."
Panel 5: Close-up of Jane.
Jane (narrating): "Let him think this pickup line works."
Panel 6: The man and Jane embrace/kiss.
Jane (narrating): "Let him believe it is possible..."
Panel 7: The man lies asleep in bed.
Jane (narrating): "Let him die in love this night..."
Panel 8: The man sits up alone in bed at dawn, looking lost.
Jane (narrating): "And let him arise as a ghost..."
Panel 9: The man approaches the dark-skinned woman at the bar.
Jane (narrating): "Walking the earth, going from woman to woman..."
Man: "Hey, baby..."
Panel 10: The man talks to a woman; another woman's silhouette in foreground.
Jane (narrating): "Nightly repeating the same pattern... growing ever more hungry and ever less sated."
Man: "I'm not a weatherman..."
Panel 11: Close-up of the man crying while delivering his line.
Jane (narrating): "Dwell in the house of death, ghost-man! All day is night for you, and all sweetness is ash!"
Man (tearful): "But I predict you'll get a few inches tonight!"
Panel 12: Jane and the blonde woman watch the man hang his head at the bar.
Panel 13: The blonde woman.
Blonde woman: "Wow."
Panel 14: The blonde woman; Jane behind her.
Blonde woman: "Just... wow."
Panel 15: Jane gestures.
Jane: "You're hardcore, Jane." (the blonde addressing Jane)
Panel 16: Jane reacts with realization.
Jane: "Oh wait! I get it now! Inches. Of his penis. Ahahahahaha!"
Votey: Two characters embrace cheek-to-cheek, one wiping away a tear.
Caption: "That man is a genius!"
Woman with glasses (Jane): "Look at that guy. He just keeps going to women, asking the same pathetic pickup line."
Panel 2: Close-up of the glasses-wearing woman, Jane.
Jane: "I did this to him."
Panel 3: A flashback. The red-haired man speaks earnestly to a woman.
Jane (narrating): "Long ago, he approached me with a line he'd pulled from the internet."
Panel 4: Close-up of Jane.
Jane (narrating): "My body told me to reject him, but my mind said... DO HIM."
Panel 5: Close-up of Jane.
Jane (narrating): "Let him think this pickup line works."
Panel 6: The man and Jane embrace/kiss.
Jane (narrating): "Let him believe it is possible..."
Panel 7: The man lies asleep in bed.
Jane (narrating): "Let him die in love this night..."
Panel 8: The man sits up alone in bed at dawn, looking lost.
Jane (narrating): "And let him arise as a ghost..."
Panel 9: The man approaches the dark-skinned woman at the bar.
Jane (narrating): "Walking the earth, going from woman to woman..."
Man: "Hey, baby..."
Panel 10: The man talks to a woman; another woman's silhouette in foreground.
Jane (narrating): "Nightly repeating the same pattern... growing ever more hungry and ever less sated."
Man: "I'm not a weatherman..."
Panel 11: Close-up of the man crying while delivering his line.
Jane (narrating): "Dwell in the house of death, ghost-man! All day is night for you, and all sweetness is ash!"
Man (tearful): "But I predict you'll get a few inches tonight!"
Panel 12: Jane and the blonde woman watch the man hang his head at the bar.
Panel 13: The blonde woman.
Blonde woman: "Wow."
Panel 14: The blonde woman; Jane behind her.
Blonde woman: "Just... wow."
Panel 15: Jane gestures.
Jane: "You're hardcore, Jane." (the blonde addressing Jane)
Panel 16: Jane reacts with realization.
Jane: "Oh wait! I get it now! Inches. Of his penis. Ahahahahaha!"
Votey: Two characters embrace cheek-to-cheek, one wiping away a tear.
Caption: "That man is a genius!"
Alt text
A long SMBC comic. Two women stand at a bar watching a red-haired man use the same pickup line on woman after woman. The bespectacled woman, called Jane, says "I did this to him" and narrates a mock-mythological curse over a flashback: long ago he approached her with an internet pickup line; her body said reject him but her mind said "DO HIM"; she let him believe it was possible, let him "die in love" that night, and cursed him to "arise as a ghost," wandering from woman to woman, repeating the same pattern, ever hungrier and less sated. The man, now tearful, delivers his line: "I'm not a weatherman... but I predict you'll get a few inches tonight!" The blonde companion is stunned: "Wow. Just... wow. You're hardcore, Jane." Then Jane suddenly gets it: "Oh wait! I get it now! Inches. Of his penis. Ahahahahaha!" Votey: two figures embrace cheek-to-cheek, one wiping a tear, with the caption "That man is a genius!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.