express
Original: express on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child (red-haired boy): WILL WE EVER ACTUALLY USE ANY OF THIS MATH?
Teacher (older woman with gray hair, in a yellow shirt): OF COURSE!
Panel 2:
Teacher: LIFE IS AN EXPRESS TRAIN HEADED FOR OBLIVION CITY, AND THIS PROOF OF PYTHAGORAS' THEOREM IS ONE MORE PRETTY THING TO CONTEMPLATE BEFORE YOU PULL INTO THE STATION.
(A chalkboard shows a tilted square inscribed inside a larger square, with sides labeled a, b, and c — a classic geometric proof of the Pythagorean theorem.)
Panel 3:
Child: I.. I MEANT LIKE, WILL IT GET ME A JOB?
Teacher (eyes wide, smiling): IT GOT ME THIS JOB CONDUCTING YOUR EXPRESS TRAIN!
Votey:
Text (sound effect): CHOO CHOO!
(The teacher, drawn with wild wide eyes and an unhinged grin, is depicted as a train barreling along, with a long curved line trailing behind her like train tracks or motion. Below her are smaller figures she is bearing down on.)
Child (red-haired boy): WILL WE EVER ACTUALLY USE ANY OF THIS MATH?
Teacher (older woman with gray hair, in a yellow shirt): OF COURSE!
Panel 2:
Teacher: LIFE IS AN EXPRESS TRAIN HEADED FOR OBLIVION CITY, AND THIS PROOF OF PYTHAGORAS' THEOREM IS ONE MORE PRETTY THING TO CONTEMPLATE BEFORE YOU PULL INTO THE STATION.
(A chalkboard shows a tilted square inscribed inside a larger square, with sides labeled a, b, and c — a classic geometric proof of the Pythagorean theorem.)
Panel 3:
Child: I.. I MEANT LIKE, WILL IT GET ME A JOB?
Teacher (eyes wide, smiling): IT GOT ME THIS JOB CONDUCTING YOUR EXPRESS TRAIN!
Votey:
Text (sound effect): CHOO CHOO!
(The teacher, drawn with wild wide eyes and an unhinged grin, is depicted as a train barreling along, with a long curved line trailing behind her like train tracks or motion. Below her are smaller figures she is bearing down on.)
Alt text
A four-panel Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic. Panel 1: A red-haired boy asks his gray-haired teacher (in a yellow shirt), 'Will we ever actually use any of this math?' She cheerfully replies, 'Of course!' Panel 2: Beside a chalkboard showing a tilted square inscribed in a larger square (a Pythagorean theorem proof with sides labeled a, b, c), the teacher says, 'Life is an express train headed for Oblivion City, and this proof of Pythagoras' theorem is one more pretty thing to contemplate before you pull into the station.' Panel 3: The boy clarifies, 'I.. I meant like, will it get me a job?' The teacher, eyes now wide and manic, beams: 'It got me this job conducting your express train!' Votey (bonus panel): The text 'CHOO CHOO!' floats above the teacher, now drawn with bulging wild eyes and an unhinged grin, rendered as a runaway train rushing forward with a long curving track trailing behind her, bearing down on small figures below — the literal express train to oblivion.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.