protagonist
Original: protagonist on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a man with red/flame-like hair and a woman with dark hair walk together outdoors):
Man: I've been way less depressed since I decided to pretend I'm the protagonist in a movie.
Panel 2:
Man: It makes all of my experiences so much more dramatic, and it makes me a much better person.
Panel 3:
Man: Like, normally on our anniversary I'd just get some flowers and we'd get dinner and so on.
Panel 4:
Man: But, since I now imagine millions of judgmental people watching, I plan ahead and take you to photogenic natural vistas, to watch the sunset and gently stroke your hair.
Panel 5 (the woman rests her head in the man's lap):
Woman: I thought you liked that stuff.
Panel 6 (the two sit together on a hillside watching the sunset):
Woman: No. No, no, no. Hiking sucks and your hair is full of tangles.
Panel 7 (close on the woman):
Woman: So, none of this is real?
Panel 8 (the man smiling):
Man: Of course not! But, I'm gonna do it for the rest of our lives, growing ever more loving under this imaginary supervision, until I TOTALLY NAIL my death scene at the end.
Panel 9:
Woman: Is it really a lie if you never stop telling it?
Man: Yes.
Panel 10:
Woman: Well, anyway, what's not to enjoy?
Panel 11:
Woman: The thing where you look away and give a thumbs up whenever we have sex is pretty annoying.
Man: No system is perfect.
Votey:
(A loose sketch of the red-haired man's face with a hand giving a thumbs up below it; no text.)
Man: I've been way less depressed since I decided to pretend I'm the protagonist in a movie.
Panel 2:
Man: It makes all of my experiences so much more dramatic, and it makes me a much better person.
Panel 3:
Man: Like, normally on our anniversary I'd just get some flowers and we'd get dinner and so on.
Panel 4:
Man: But, since I now imagine millions of judgmental people watching, I plan ahead and take you to photogenic natural vistas, to watch the sunset and gently stroke your hair.
Panel 5 (the woman rests her head in the man's lap):
Woman: I thought you liked that stuff.
Panel 6 (the two sit together on a hillside watching the sunset):
Woman: No. No, no, no. Hiking sucks and your hair is full of tangles.
Panel 7 (close on the woman):
Woman: So, none of this is real?
Panel 8 (the man smiling):
Man: Of course not! But, I'm gonna do it for the rest of our lives, growing ever more loving under this imaginary supervision, until I TOTALLY NAIL my death scene at the end.
Panel 9:
Woman: Is it really a lie if you never stop telling it?
Man: Yes.
Panel 10:
Woman: Well, anyway, what's not to enjoy?
Panel 11:
Woman: The thing where you look away and give a thumbs up whenever we have sex is pretty annoying.
Man: No system is perfect.
Votey:
(A loose sketch of the red-haired man's face with a hand giving a thumbs up below it; no text.)
Alt text
An eleven-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired man and a dark-haired woman are out in nature together. The man explains he's been less depressed since he decided to pretend he's the protagonist in a movie, which makes his experiences more dramatic and makes him a better person. He says that instead of just flowers and dinner on their anniversary, he now imagines millions of judgmental viewers watching, so he takes her to photogenic vistas to watch the sunset and stroke her hair. She replies that she thought he liked that stuff; he says no, hiking sucks and her hair is full of tangles. She asks if none of this is real. He cheerfully says of course not, but he'll keep doing it for the rest of their lives, growing ever more loving under imaginary supervision, until he totally nails his death scene at the end. She asks if it's really a lie if you never stop telling it; he says yes. She adds, what's not to enjoy, except the thing where he looks away and gives a thumbs up whenever they have sex, which is pretty annoying. He answers, no system is perfect. Votey: a rough sketch of the man's face with a hand giving a thumbs up below it.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.