charlottes-web
Original: charlottes-web on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A pink pig stands in a barn on hay, looking up.
Pig: CHARLOTTE! THEY'RE GOING TO SLAUGHTER ME IN THE MORNING! I DON'T WANNA DIE!
Panel 2: A close-up of a gray spider hanging in her web.
Spider (Charlotte): SHHH. IT'LL BE OKAY, WILBUR. GO TO SLEEP. SLEEP.
Panel 3: Exterior view of the barn. A crowd of farm people stands gathered, looking up in astonishment at a web message. Above them, a starburst reads "AGAPE". Letters are spelled out in a spider web on the barn.
Panel 4: Wide view of a spider web stretched across the barn rafters, with words written in the web: "STUN BEFORE KILLING". Below, the pig sleeps peacefully in a nest of hay, with a "z" indicating sleep.
Votey: An empty hand-drawn panel border with no content inside. In the bottom-right corner, small text reads "(sorry)".
Pig: CHARLOTTE! THEY'RE GOING TO SLAUGHTER ME IN THE MORNING! I DON'T WANNA DIE!
Panel 2: A close-up of a gray spider hanging in her web.
Spider (Charlotte): SHHH. IT'LL BE OKAY, WILBUR. GO TO SLEEP. SLEEP.
Panel 3: Exterior view of the barn. A crowd of farm people stands gathered, looking up in astonishment at a web message. Above them, a starburst reads "AGAPE". Letters are spelled out in a spider web on the barn.
Panel 4: Wide view of a spider web stretched across the barn rafters, with words written in the web: "STUN BEFORE KILLING". Below, the pig sleeps peacefully in a nest of hay, with a "z" indicating sleep.
Votey: An empty hand-drawn panel border with no content inside. In the bottom-right corner, small text reads "(sorry)".
Alt text
A four-panel parody of Charlotte's Web. Panel 1: a pink pig in a barn cries up to the spider, "Charlotte! They're going to slaughter me in the morning! I don't wanna die!" Panel 2: close-up of the gray spider Charlotte soothing him, "Shhh. It'll be okay, Wilbur. Go to sleep. Sleep." Panel 3: outside the barn, a crowd of farm folk stares up agape (a starburst reads "AGAPE") at a message Charlotte has spun. Panel 4: the spider web spells out the words "STUN BEFORE KILLING" across the rafters while the pig sleeps soundly in the hay below. The joke: instead of the famous compliments like "SOME PIG," Charlotte's web delivers blunt slaughter instructions so Wilbur won't suffer. Votey aftercomic: a completely empty drawn panel with tiny text in the corner reading "(sorry)".
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.