invention
Original: invention on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: What's this?
Man with orange hair: The greatest invention ever.
Panel 2:
Man with orange hair: It constantly sprays a fine mist of holy water onto my body, continuously erasing my sins!
Panel 3:
Man with orange hair: I can do anything I want, no matter how horrible, and remain 100% sin free! Sodomy, gluttony, MURDER!? It's all on the table for Steve!
Panel 4:
Man with orange hair: There is literally no way for me to lose in the afterlife!
(The man grins triumphantly; the woman looks on, unimpressed.)
Panel 5:
Caption: SOME TIME LATER...
(Setting: a robed, bearded figure stands at a podium, as if delivering a verdict.)
Figure at podium: Operating that machine was a mortal sin.
Man (Steve), distraught: Dammit!
Votey:
(Close-up on Steve's anguished face.)
Steve: Eternal torment. Well, that's just GREAT.
Woman: What's this?
Man with orange hair: The greatest invention ever.
Panel 2:
Man with orange hair: It constantly sprays a fine mist of holy water onto my body, continuously erasing my sins!
Panel 3:
Man with orange hair: I can do anything I want, no matter how horrible, and remain 100% sin free! Sodomy, gluttony, MURDER!? It's all on the table for Steve!
Panel 4:
Man with orange hair: There is literally no way for me to lose in the afterlife!
(The man grins triumphantly; the woman looks on, unimpressed.)
Panel 5:
Caption: SOME TIME LATER...
(Setting: a robed, bearded figure stands at a podium, as if delivering a verdict.)
Figure at podium: Operating that machine was a mortal sin.
Man (Steve), distraught: Dammit!
Votey:
(Close-up on Steve's anguished face.)
Steve: Eternal torment. Well, that's just GREAT.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A man with orange hair proudly shows a woman a device on a stand: 'The greatest invention ever.' He explains it 'constantly sprays a fine mist of holy water onto my body, continuously erasing my sins,' so he can do anything horrible and stay '100% sin free! Sodomy, gluttony, MURDER!? It's all on the table for Steve!' He grins: 'There is literally no way for me to lose in the afterlife!' Caption: 'SOME TIME LATER...' A robed, bearded figure at a podium pronounces: 'Operating that machine was a mortal sin.' Steve, crushed, cries 'Dammit!' Votey: a close-up of Steve's anguished face as he says, 'Eternal torment. Well, that's just GREAT.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.