surge
Original: surge on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Victim (an older man in a robe, fleeing): UNHAND HER!
The superhero (a masked woman in a green costume and purple cape, dropping/handling a captured villain): THANK YOU. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
The villain (a person being held): SUPER-ECONOMIST.
Panel 2:
Super-Economist: IN RETURN FOR MY SERVICES, I EXPECT 50% OF THE MONEY YOU WOULD'VE LOST DURING THIS MUGGING.
Hero: HALF THE MONEY IN MY PURSE?
Super-Economist: MORE. YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THE TIME YOU WOULD'VE LOST TO REPLACING YOUR CREDIT AND ID CARDS.
Panel 3:
Hero: OH, DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD'VE EXPERIENCED ANY LOST WORK TIME DUE TO EMOTIONAL TRAUMA?
Super-Economist: PROBABLY?
Panel 4:
Super-Economist: RIGHT, SO I JUST NEED TO TAKE THOSE HOURS AND MULTIPLY THROUGH YOUR HOURLY WAGE, THEN DIVIDE BY TWO IN ORDER TO DETERMINE MY RATE OF COMPENSATION.
Panel 5:
Hero: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!
Super-Economist: SURE, THERE ARE A FEW WEIRD INDIVIDUALS WILLING TO WORK AND SUFFER FOR NOTHING. BUT, OVER THE LONG-TERM, IT'S AN UNSTABLE ARRANGEMENT.
Panel 6:
Super-Economist: YOU KNOW WHAT'S OUTRAGEOUS? THE CURRENT INCENTIVE STRUCTURES FOR SUPERHEROING.
Panel 7:
Hero (flying off angrily): WELL, I WON'T... AAARRGH! THERE'S A SUPERVILLAIN RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
Super-Economist (standing calmly, arms crossed): THEY CALL ME CAPTAIN SURGE.
Panel 8:
Captain Surge (a glowing yellow/gold figure crackling with electricity): OH, I'M AFRAID I NEED TO MAKE YOU AWARE OF 'SURGE PRICING.'
Votey:
Captain Surge: OUR PRICES ARE REALLY LOW WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT THE ALTERNATIVE IS CERTAIN DEATH.
Victim (an older man in a robe, fleeing): UNHAND HER!
The superhero (a masked woman in a green costume and purple cape, dropping/handling a captured villain): THANK YOU. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
The villain (a person being held): SUPER-ECONOMIST.
Panel 2:
Super-Economist: IN RETURN FOR MY SERVICES, I EXPECT 50% OF THE MONEY YOU WOULD'VE LOST DURING THIS MUGGING.
Hero: HALF THE MONEY IN MY PURSE?
Super-Economist: MORE. YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THE TIME YOU WOULD'VE LOST TO REPLACING YOUR CREDIT AND ID CARDS.
Panel 3:
Hero: OH, DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD'VE EXPERIENCED ANY LOST WORK TIME DUE TO EMOTIONAL TRAUMA?
Super-Economist: PROBABLY?
Panel 4:
Super-Economist: RIGHT, SO I JUST NEED TO TAKE THOSE HOURS AND MULTIPLY THROUGH YOUR HOURLY WAGE, THEN DIVIDE BY TWO IN ORDER TO DETERMINE MY RATE OF COMPENSATION.
Panel 5:
Hero: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!
Super-Economist: SURE, THERE ARE A FEW WEIRD INDIVIDUALS WILLING TO WORK AND SUFFER FOR NOTHING. BUT, OVER THE LONG-TERM, IT'S AN UNSTABLE ARRANGEMENT.
Panel 6:
Super-Economist: YOU KNOW WHAT'S OUTRAGEOUS? THE CURRENT INCENTIVE STRUCTURES FOR SUPERHEROING.
Panel 7:
Hero (flying off angrily): WELL, I WON'T... AAARRGH! THERE'S A SUPERVILLAIN RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
Super-Economist (standing calmly, arms crossed): THEY CALL ME CAPTAIN SURGE.
Panel 8:
Captain Surge (a glowing yellow/gold figure crackling with electricity): OH, I'M AFRAID I NEED TO MAKE YOU AWARE OF 'SURGE PRICING.'
Votey:
Captain Surge: OUR PRICES ARE REALLY LOW WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT THE ALTERNATIVE IS CERTAIN DEATH.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A masked superheroine in a green costume and purple cape rescues an old man from a mugging, then asks the saved villain's name; he replies 'Super-Economist.' Instead of fleeing, Super-Economist demands 50% of the money she would have lost in the mugging as payment for his services, reasoning through replacement costs for ID cards and even hours of work lost to emotional trauma, multiplied by her hourly wage and divided by two to set his rate. When she protests that this is outrageous, he argues that heroes working for free is an unstable long-term arrangement and that the real outrage is the current incentive structures for superheroing. As she flies off furious, she shouts that there's a supervillain right behind him; he calmly introduces himself: 'They call me Captain Surge.' The final panel shows Captain Surge, a glowing figure crackling with yellow electricity, announcing he must make her aware of 'surge pricing.' Votey: a close-up of Captain Surge's masked face as he adds, 'Our prices are really low when you consider that the alternative is certain death.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.