clowns
Original: clowns on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Speaker (a person with dark hair, walking through snow with a companion): "You ever wonder why clowns were invented? They're objectively terrifying. All kids today are scared of them, but they were once a popular form of amusement."
Panel 2 (caption box): "If watching a guy get killed is your baseline fun thing to do with an afternoon, you're probably not too creeped out by somebody with funny makeup and a red nose."
Panel 3 (caption box): "The reason kids' shows have gotten ever cuter is that we lack the salutary lesson of the guillotine."
Panel 4: Speaker: "So, if we started beheading people in the public square every day... clowns would return?"
Panel 5: The dark-haired person (now sitting with their companion atop a snowy hill): "And now you know why you're scared of them!"
Votey:
Extreme close-up of a creepy clown face. Small text: "Bring us back."
Panel 2 (caption box): "If watching a guy get killed is your baseline fun thing to do with an afternoon, you're probably not too creeped out by somebody with funny makeup and a red nose."
Panel 3 (caption box): "The reason kids' shows have gotten ever cuter is that we lack the salutary lesson of the guillotine."
Panel 4: Speaker: "So, if we started beheading people in the public square every day... clowns would return?"
Panel 5: The dark-haired person (now sitting with their companion atop a snowy hill): "And now you know why you're scared of them!"
Votey:
Extreme close-up of a creepy clown face. Small text: "Bring us back."
Alt text
A SMBC comic. Two people in winter clothes walk and then sit together on top of a snowy hill under a starry sky. One (dark-haired) lectures the other: clowns are objectively terrifying and kids today fear them, yet they were once popular amusement. Caption boxes explain the theory: if watching a guy get killed was your baseline afternoon fun, you wouldn't be creeped out by someone in funny makeup with a red nose; kids' shows have only gotten cuter because we lack 'the salutary lesson of the guillotine.' The companion asks, 'So, if we started beheading people in the public square every day... clowns would return?' The dark-haired one cheerfully concludes, 'And now you know why you're scared of them!' Votey: an extreme close-up of a menacing clown face with the small caption 'Bring us back.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.