soonish-3
Original: soonish-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman with dark hair: Do you worry online dating sites have made us too picky?
Man with flame-like orange hair: Hm?
Woman: Like, instead of fundamentals, people focus on narrow specifics.
Panel 2:
Woman: You can get so obsessed with tiny stuff, eventually you're just asking for impossibilities, and you spend your life alone.
Orange-haired man: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Panel 3:
The orange-haired man rests his chin on his hand, eyes closed, looking thoughtful in front of a laptop. The laptop screen displays a dating profile:
LAPTOP SCREEN: Likes: Environmentalism, lawncare. Looking for: Man or woman who can efficiently metabolize pure cellulose.
Caption beneath the comic: This comic brought to you by buyers of SOONISH. Click for more information.
Votey:
A boxy robot stands silently. A speech bubble above it reads: SOULMATE
Woman with dark hair: Do you worry online dating sites have made us too picky?
Man with flame-like orange hair: Hm?
Woman: Like, instead of fundamentals, people focus on narrow specifics.
Panel 2:
Woman: You can get so obsessed with tiny stuff, eventually you're just asking for impossibilities, and you spend your life alone.
Orange-haired man: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Panel 3:
The orange-haired man rests his chin on his hand, eyes closed, looking thoughtful in front of a laptop. The laptop screen displays a dating profile:
LAPTOP SCREEN: Likes: Environmentalism, lawncare. Looking for: Man or woman who can efficiently metabolize pure cellulose.
Caption beneath the comic: This comic brought to you by buyers of SOONISH. Click for more information.
Votey:
A boxy robot stands silently. A speech bubble above it reads: SOULMATE
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A dark-haired woman asks an orange-haired man, "Do you worry online dating sites have made us too picky?" He replies, "Hm?" She continues, "Like, instead of fundamentals, people focus on narrow specifics." Panel 2: She adds, "You can get so obsessed with tiny stuff, eventually you're just asking for impossibilities, and you spend your life alone." The man flatly responds, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Panel 3: Close-up of the orange-haired man resting his chin on his hand with eyes closed, looking dreamy, sitting at a laptop. The laptop screen shows his dating profile: "Likes: Environmentalism, lawncare. Looking for: Man or woman who can efficiently metabolize pure cellulose." The joke: while denying he's too picky, his own profile demands an impossibly specific, plant-digesting partner. A caption notes the comic is sponsored by buyers of the book SOONISH. Votey (bonus panel): A blocky robot stands beneath a speech bubble that simply says "SOULMATE" — implying only a machine could meet his hyper-specific requirements.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.