epic
Original: epic on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Woman: Why haven't we had sex in six weeks?
Panel 2
Man: Philosophy is at fault.
Panel 3
Man (eyes serenely closed): According to Epictetus, you should not admire your wife's beauty so that you will not be angry if she is unfaithful.
Panel 4
Man: As a recognition that I cannot control externals, but can control the will, I've decided you're a great big uggo.
Panel 5
Woman: Was Epictetus ever married?
Panel 6
Man: It is not known, but he apparently got with a woman late in life after he needed help with childcare.
Panel 7
(The woman stands behind the man with her arms crossed; no dialogue.)
Panel 8
(The man holds a hand to his chin, thinking; no dialogue.)
Panel 9
Woman: Are you familiar with the concept of structural sexism?
Panel 10
Man: That sounds like an external, so only weak-willed people would care.
Votey:
(A simply-drawn head with a flat, deadpan expression.)
Woman: I'm gonna go create some externals with the neighbor.
Woman: Why haven't we had sex in six weeks?
Panel 2
Man: Philosophy is at fault.
Panel 3
Man (eyes serenely closed): According to Epictetus, you should not admire your wife's beauty so that you will not be angry if she is unfaithful.
Panel 4
Man: As a recognition that I cannot control externals, but can control the will, I've decided you're a great big uggo.
Panel 5
Woman: Was Epictetus ever married?
Panel 6
Man: It is not known, but he apparently got with a woman late in life after he needed help with childcare.
Panel 7
(The woman stands behind the man with her arms crossed; no dialogue.)
Panel 8
(The man holds a hand to his chin, thinking; no dialogue.)
Panel 9
Woman: Are you familiar with the concept of structural sexism?
Panel 10
Man: That sounds like an external, so only weak-willed people would care.
Votey:
(A simply-drawn head with a flat, deadpan expression.)
Woman: I'm gonna go create some externals with the neighbor.
Alt text
A ten-panel SMBC comic. A woman asks her husband why they haven't had sex in six weeks. He replies, 'Philosophy is at fault.' With his eyes serenely closed, he explains: 'According to Epictetus, you should not admire your wife's beauty so that you will not be angry if she is unfaithful.' He continues, 'As a recognition that I cannot control externals, but can control the will, I've decided you're a great big uggo.' She asks, 'Was Epictetus ever married?' He answers, 'It is not known, but he apparently got with a woman late in life after he needed help with childcare.' She stands behind him with arms crossed; he strokes his chin. She asks, 'Are you familiar with the concept of structural sexism?' He replies, 'That sounds like an external, so only weak-willed people would care.' The joke skewers using Stoic detachment to dodge accountability. Votey: a deadpan sketch of the woman's head as she says, 'I'm gonna go create some externals with the neighbor' — implying she'll cheat on him, framed as an 'external' he can't control.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.