rapunzel
Original: rapunzel on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A knight in a gray tunic with a red cape stands at the base of an extremely tall, narrow stone tower, looking up.
Knight: RAPUNZEL! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU! LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!
Panel 2:
A wide, mostly-black panel. The towering spire rises on the right, and a single thin strand of yellow hair has been dropped down its full height to the ground. A tiny figure (the knight) is at the bottom, beginning to climb.
Knight: OH MY GOD. HAS THIS EVER BEEN WASHED? IT'S... CRUNCHY.
Panel 3:
The knight, back at ground level, grips the rope of yellow hair against the base of the tower.
Knight (caption): IT'S A PRISON TOWER, NOT A FUCKING DAY SPA.
Panel 4:
Close on the knight clutching the thick rope of yellow hair, looking dismayed.
Knight (caption): I KNOW, BUT I THOUGHT PRINCESSES WERE JUST SORT OF... MAGICALLY NICE.
Rapunzel (caption): THEN YOU WILL FIND MY LEGS SHOCKING, SIR.
Panel 5:
Rapunzel, a blonde woman in a pink dress, leans out of the tower window looking irritated. Beside her, the knight is shown from behind/side.
Rapunzel: ...MAGICALLY NICE.
Panel 6:
A close-up of Rapunzel's face, flat and unamused, her long blonde hair framing her.
Votey:
A close-up of the knight's face, brow furrowed in anger, shouting up at the tower.
Knight: Climb it, you shit!
A knight in a gray tunic with a red cape stands at the base of an extremely tall, narrow stone tower, looking up.
Knight: RAPUNZEL! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU! LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!
Panel 2:
A wide, mostly-black panel. The towering spire rises on the right, and a single thin strand of yellow hair has been dropped down its full height to the ground. A tiny figure (the knight) is at the bottom, beginning to climb.
Knight: OH MY GOD. HAS THIS EVER BEEN WASHED? IT'S... CRUNCHY.
Panel 3:
The knight, back at ground level, grips the rope of yellow hair against the base of the tower.
Knight (caption): IT'S A PRISON TOWER, NOT A FUCKING DAY SPA.
Panel 4:
Close on the knight clutching the thick rope of yellow hair, looking dismayed.
Knight (caption): I KNOW, BUT I THOUGHT PRINCESSES WERE JUST SORT OF... MAGICALLY NICE.
Rapunzel (caption): THEN YOU WILL FIND MY LEGS SHOCKING, SIR.
Panel 5:
Rapunzel, a blonde woman in a pink dress, leans out of the tower window looking irritated. Beside her, the knight is shown from behind/side.
Rapunzel: ...MAGICALLY NICE.
Panel 6:
A close-up of Rapunzel's face, flat and unamused, her long blonde hair framing her.
Votey:
A close-up of the knight's face, brow furrowed in anger, shouting up at the tower.
Knight: Climb it, you shit!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic parodying Rapunzel. Panel 1: a knight in a red cape stands at the foot of a towering spire and calls up, "RAPUNZEL! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU! LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!" Panel 2: a wide black panel showing the immense height of the tower, with a single thin yellow strand of hair dropped all the way down and the tiny knight beginning to climb; he says, "OH MY GOD. HAS THIS EVER BEEN WASHED? IT'S... CRUNCHY." Panel 3: the knight grips the rope of hair; Rapunzel snaps, "IT'S A PRISON TOWER, NOT A FUCKING DAY SPA." Panel 4: the knight clutches the thick yellow hair, dismayed: "I KNOW, BUT I THOUGHT PRINCESSES WERE JUST SORT OF... MAGICALLY NICE," and she replies, "THEN YOU WILL FIND MY LEGS SHOCKING, SIR." Panels 5 and 6: an annoyed blonde Rapunzel in a pink dress leans from the window, deadpan. The joke: a captive princess has no reason to be groomed or pleasant. Votey: a close-up of the knight, furious, yelling up at the tower, "Climb it, you shit!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.