gardening
Original: gardening on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Mother: And this is your patch of the garden. Yours, to do what you like.
Little girl: Can I have mineral rights?
Panel 2:
Mother: I suppose?
Panel 3:
Little girl: Mineral rights extending as deep as I like, all the way down to the core, in the shape of an enormous spike?
Panel 4:
Mother: I don't see it coming up.
Panel 5:
Mother: Okeedoke.
Panel 6:
Little girl: Beyond the atmosphere, the cone grows ever larger, granting me the airspace rights.
Panel 7:
Little girl: And furthermore, the cone of the spike should expand upward, granting me airspace rights.
Panel 8 (mother and girl, girl raising arms):
Little girl: Grows ever larger as it penetrates the cosmos.
Panel 9:
Mother: Uh...
Little girl: At a great enough distance, stars are mine. Galaxies, millions of them. All of their inhabitants my property.
Panel 10 (girl's face, mouth wide open, shouting):
Little girl: Bow before Sally, the child empress! Bend your knees, vassal spacelords!
Panel 11 (wide dark panel, two small silhouettes standing in a black expanse):
Mother: So... what are you gonna plant?
Little girl (now named Sally): I like carrots!
Votey:
A close-up of the mother's tired face.
Mother: And this is autocracy, so it shall be carrots.
Mother: And this is your patch of the garden. Yours, to do what you like.
Little girl: Can I have mineral rights?
Panel 2:
Mother: I suppose?
Panel 3:
Little girl: Mineral rights extending as deep as I like, all the way down to the core, in the shape of an enormous spike?
Panel 4:
Mother: I don't see it coming up.
Panel 5:
Mother: Okeedoke.
Panel 6:
Little girl: Beyond the atmosphere, the cone grows ever larger, granting me the airspace rights.
Panel 7:
Little girl: And furthermore, the cone of the spike should expand upward, granting me airspace rights.
Panel 8 (mother and girl, girl raising arms):
Little girl: Grows ever larger as it penetrates the cosmos.
Panel 9:
Mother: Uh...
Little girl: At a great enough distance, stars are mine. Galaxies, millions of them. All of their inhabitants my property.
Panel 10 (girl's face, mouth wide open, shouting):
Little girl: Bow before Sally, the child empress! Bend your knees, vassal spacelords!
Panel 11 (wide dark panel, two small silhouettes standing in a black expanse):
Mother: So... what are you gonna plant?
Little girl (now named Sally): I like carrots!
Votey:
A close-up of the mother's tired face.
Mother: And this is autocracy, so it shall be carrots.
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired mother shows her young daughter a patch of garden, saying it is hers to do what she likes with. The girl asks for mineral rights, then escalates: rights extending down to the planet's core in the shape of an enormous spike, then expanding upward as a cone to claim airspace rights, then growing ever larger as it penetrates the cosmos so that distant stars, millions of galaxies, and all their inhabitants become her property. In a dramatic close-up her mouth gapes wide as she proclaims, 'Bow before Sally, the child empress! Bend your knees, vassal spacelords!' The final wide panel zooms out to a vast black expanse where the mother and tiny Sally stand as small silhouettes; the mother flatly asks, 'So... what are you gonna plant?' and Sally cheerfully replies, 'I like carrots!' Votey: a close-up of the mother's weary face saying, 'And this is autocracy, so it shall be carrots.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.