apocalypse-soon
Original: apocalypse-soon on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Credits: WRITTEN BY: Zach Weinersmith. ILLUSTRATED BY: Abby Howard.
Panel 1: A man with flame-like hair, looking wild-eyed and holding a knife, shouts.
Flame-haired man: THE APOCALYPSE IS FINALLY HERE! RULE OF LAW IS DEAD! MAN IS LAW! STEEL IS LAW AND I HAVE THE WEAPONS! [the room lights flicker / a lamp]
Panel 2: A calmer man with horn-like hair stands in a living room.
Horn-haired man: UH... LOOKS LIKE IT WAS JUST A TEMPORARY POWER OUTAGE, NOT THE END TIMES.
Panel 3: The horn-haired man sits on a couch.
Horn-haired man: DAMMIT, STEVE, IF THE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO ARE GONNA RUIN IT!
Panel 4: A woman eats from a bowl while sitting at a table.
Woman: IN A REAL APOCALYPSE WE'D PROBABLY JUST WORK TOGETHER TO REBUILD, BUT ALL OF YOU PEOPLE PLAY APOCALYPSE VIDEO GAMES ARE GONNA RUN AROUND STARTING WEIRD CULTS OR EMPIRES OR WHATEVER.
Panel 5: The flame-haired man (Steve) replies.
Steve: I WAS THINKING OF STARTING A SOCIETY OF MYSTERIOUS CANNIBALS CALLED "THE DARK MONAS."
Woman: NO. STOP.
Panel 6: The woman, arms crossed, in front of shelves.
Woman: YOU'VE GOT LIKE THREE YEARS OF FOOD IN THE BASEMENT.
Panel 7: Steve again.
Steve: BUT I ALREADY PRINTED FLAGS AND EVERYTHING.
Panel 8: The woman sits, addressing him sternly.
Woman: NO CANNIBALISM TIL YOU'RE OUT OF BEANS, MISTER!
Steve: I HATE YOU!!!
Votey:
A bespectacled person with a baby/small child speaks to the long-haired horned man.
Bespectacled person: Wow! Your art isn't crap today! Finally, I can respect you.
Panel 1: A man with flame-like hair, looking wild-eyed and holding a knife, shouts.
Flame-haired man: THE APOCALYPSE IS FINALLY HERE! RULE OF LAW IS DEAD! MAN IS LAW! STEEL IS LAW AND I HAVE THE WEAPONS! [the room lights flicker / a lamp]
Panel 2: A calmer man with horn-like hair stands in a living room.
Horn-haired man: UH... LOOKS LIKE IT WAS JUST A TEMPORARY POWER OUTAGE, NOT THE END TIMES.
Panel 3: The horn-haired man sits on a couch.
Horn-haired man: DAMMIT, STEVE, IF THE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO ARE GONNA RUIN IT!
Panel 4: A woman eats from a bowl while sitting at a table.
Woman: IN A REAL APOCALYPSE WE'D PROBABLY JUST WORK TOGETHER TO REBUILD, BUT ALL OF YOU PEOPLE PLAY APOCALYPSE VIDEO GAMES ARE GONNA RUN AROUND STARTING WEIRD CULTS OR EMPIRES OR WHATEVER.
Panel 5: The flame-haired man (Steve) replies.
Steve: I WAS THINKING OF STARTING A SOCIETY OF MYSTERIOUS CANNIBALS CALLED "THE DARK MONAS."
Woman: NO. STOP.
Panel 6: The woman, arms crossed, in front of shelves.
Woman: YOU'VE GOT LIKE THREE YEARS OF FOOD IN THE BASEMENT.
Panel 7: Steve again.
Steve: BUT I ALREADY PRINTED FLAGS AND EVERYTHING.
Panel 8: The woman sits, addressing him sternly.
Woman: NO CANNIBALISM TIL YOU'RE OUT OF BEANS, MISTER!
Steve: I HATE YOU!!!
Votey:
A bespectacled person with a baby/small child speaks to the long-haired horned man.
Bespectacled person: Wow! Your art isn't crap today! Finally, I can respect you.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic (written by Zach Weinersmith, illustrated by Abby Howard). A wild-eyed man with flame-like hair brandishes a knife during a blackout, declaring the apocalypse has finally arrived: "RULE OF LAW IS DEAD! MAN IS LAW! STEEL IS LAW AND I HAVE THE WEAPONS!" A calmer horn-haired housemate points out it was just a temporary power outage, then scolds, "Dammit, Steve, if the apocalypse happens it's people like you who are gonna ruin it!" A woman eating from a bowl explains that in a real apocalypse people would cooperate to rebuild, while apocalypse-video-game fans like Steve would just start weird cults and empires. Steve eagerly proposes founding a cannibal society called 'The Dark Monas'; she shuts it down. Standing by their well-stocked shelves she notes they have three years of food in the basement, and when Steve whines that he already printed flags, she lays down the law: "NO CANNIBALISM TIL YOU'RE OUT OF BEANS, MISTER!" Steve cries, "I HATE YOU!!!" The joke: domestic practicality treats apocalypse-cannibalism like a chore that has to wait until the pantry is empty. Votey (bonus panel): a bespectacled person holding a small child tells the long-haired man, "Wow! Your art isn't crap today! Finally, I can respect you." — a self-deprecating jab at the day's art style.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.