edible-underwear
Original: edible-underwear on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (with dark curly hair, standing behind a woman with reddish-brown hair): HEY HONEY, I'M WEARING EDIBLE UNDERWEAR RIGHT NOW.
Woman: OOH... SHOW ME...
Panel 2:
The man, now shirtless and wearing ragged grayish briefs, gestures to himself.
Man: TECHNICALLY, THESE BEGAN AS COTTON UNDERWEAR, BUT I'VE WORN THEM SO LONG THAT THE CELLULOSE IN THE COTTON HAS HYDROLYZED INTO GLUCOSE.
Panel 3:
The woman looks unimpressed.
Woman: I WASN'T ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN EDIBLE UNDERWEAR AND NOW I'VE DECIDED TO NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN.
Panel 4:
The man keeps trying as the woman is leaving.
Man: CALL ME COTTON CANDY.
Woman: NO.
Man: SUGAR DADDY?
Woman: NO.
Votey:
A close-up of the man's worried, hopeful face.
Man: ARE YOU MORE OF A FRUCTOSE PERSON?
Man (with dark curly hair, standing behind a woman with reddish-brown hair): HEY HONEY, I'M WEARING EDIBLE UNDERWEAR RIGHT NOW.
Woman: OOH... SHOW ME...
Panel 2:
The man, now shirtless and wearing ragged grayish briefs, gestures to himself.
Man: TECHNICALLY, THESE BEGAN AS COTTON UNDERWEAR, BUT I'VE WORN THEM SO LONG THAT THE CELLULOSE IN THE COTTON HAS HYDROLYZED INTO GLUCOSE.
Panel 3:
The woman looks unimpressed.
Woman: I WASN'T ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN EDIBLE UNDERWEAR AND NOW I'VE DECIDED TO NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN.
Panel 4:
The man keeps trying as the woman is leaving.
Man: CALL ME COTTON CANDY.
Woman: NO.
Man: SUGAR DADDY?
Woman: NO.
Votey:
A close-up of the man's worried, hopeful face.
Man: ARE YOU MORE OF A FRUCTOSE PERSON?
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A man with dark curly hair stands behind a woman with reddish-brown hair and says, "Hey honey, I'm wearing edible underwear right now." She replies, "Ooh... show me..." Panel 2: The man, now shirtless in ragged grayish briefs, explains: "Technically, these began as cotton underwear, but I've worn them so long that the cellulose in the cotton has hydrolyzed into glucose." Panel 3: The woman, looking unimpressed, says, "I wasn't actually interested in edible underwear and now I've decided to never have sex again." Panel 4: As she leaves, the man keeps pitching nicknames. He says "Call me cotton candy." She says "No." He says "Sugar daddy?" She says "No." Votey: A close-up of the man's worried, hopeful face asking, "Are you more of a fructose person?" The joke: his pseudo-scientific reframing of filthy old underwear as "edible" sugar kills the mood, and he won't stop trying sugar-themed nicknames.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.