drugs
Original: drugs on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Father (to red-haired boy): BOY! YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME SHE FOUND MARIJUANA IN YOUR ROOM!
Boy: DAD.
Panel 2:
Father: DID YOU SMOKE IT?
Boy: I... I... YES SIR.
Panel 3:
Father: HOW COULD YOU?! IN A MODERN GLOBALIZED ECONOMY?! WHY AREN'T YOU USING UPPERS? RITALIN? COCAINE? THINK OF YOUR FUTURE, BOY!
Panel 4:
Father: YOU COULD'VE WRITTEN A BOOK AND WASHED THE CAR BY NOW!
Panel 5:
Boy: I'M SORRY, PAPA! PLEASE DON'T BE MAD!
Father (wild-eyed, arms raised): [reacting]
Panel 6:
Father: I'M NOT MAD. JUST DISAPPOINTED.
Boy: [worried look]
Panel 7:
Boy walks away through a doorway; a poster on the wall reads "BAT-IVIDUAL" with a bat silhouette.
Panel 8 (silhouettes against black):
Father: I'D BE MAD TOO, BUT I'M ON EMOTION-SUPPRESSANTS SO I DON'T MIND WORKING DURING HOLIDAYS.
Boy: AHHH.
Votey:
Father (handwritten speech bubble): I had to take a lot of anger pills to accomplish that outburst.
Father (to red-haired boy): BOY! YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME SHE FOUND MARIJUANA IN YOUR ROOM!
Boy: DAD.
Panel 2:
Father: DID YOU SMOKE IT?
Boy: I... I... YES SIR.
Panel 3:
Father: HOW COULD YOU?! IN A MODERN GLOBALIZED ECONOMY?! WHY AREN'T YOU USING UPPERS? RITALIN? COCAINE? THINK OF YOUR FUTURE, BOY!
Panel 4:
Father: YOU COULD'VE WRITTEN A BOOK AND WASHED THE CAR BY NOW!
Panel 5:
Boy: I'M SORRY, PAPA! PLEASE DON'T BE MAD!
Father (wild-eyed, arms raised): [reacting]
Panel 6:
Father: I'M NOT MAD. JUST DISAPPOINTED.
Boy: [worried look]
Panel 7:
Boy walks away through a doorway; a poster on the wall reads "BAT-IVIDUAL" with a bat silhouette.
Panel 8 (silhouettes against black):
Father: I'D BE MAD TOO, BUT I'M ON EMOTION-SUPPRESSANTS SO I DON'T MIND WORKING DURING HOLIDAYS.
Boy: AHHH.
Votey:
Father (handwritten speech bubble): I had to take a lot of anger pills to accomplish that outburst.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A balding, glasses-wearing father confronts his young red-haired son. Panel 1: 'BOY! YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME SHE FOUND MARIJUANA IN YOUR ROOM!' The boy says 'DAD.' Panel 2: The father, drawn intensely close-up with blank white eyes, asks 'DID YOU SMOKE IT?' Boy: 'I... I... YES SIR.' Panel 3: The father rants: 'HOW COULD YOU?! IN A MODERN GLOBALIZED ECONOMY?! WHY AREN'T YOU USING UPPERS? RITALIN? COCAINE? THINK OF YOUR FUTURE, BOY!' Panel 4: 'YOU COULD'VE WRITTEN A BOOK AND WASHED THE CAR BY NOW!' Panel 5: The boy pleads 'I'M SORRY, PAPA! PLEASE DON'T BE MAD!' while the father throws his arms up, wild-eyed and shouting. Panel 6: Calmly, the father says 'I'M NOT MAD. JUST DISAPPOINTED.' Panel 7: The boy walks away through a doorway past a poster reading 'BAT-IVIDUAL' with a bat silhouette. Panel 8: In silhouette against black, the father explains 'I'D BE MAD TOO, BUT I'M ON EMOTION-SUPPRESSANTS SO I DON'T MIND WORKING DURING HOLIDAYS,' and the small boy's silhouette replies 'AHHH.' The joke inverts the usual drug talk: the father is upset his son took a relaxant instead of productivity-boosting stimulants. The votey panel shows a hand-drawn father saying 'I had to take a lot of anger pills to accomplish that outburst,' revealing his rage was itself pharmaceutically manufactured.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.