sad-truths-mythical-creature-edition
Original: sad-truths-mythical-creature-edition on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: SAD TRUTHS: MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE EDITION
Section 1 header: ONLY SOCIAL ANIMALS EVOLVE CONSCIOUSNESS. DRAGONS ARE SOLITARY.
Panel 1: A man in a green tunic stands facing a dragon.
Man: I COME WITH A RIDDLE!
Panel 2: The dragon bites down on the man.
Sound effect: =chomp=
Panel 3: The dragon lies curled on a pile of gold treasure, with thought-bubble dots rising from its head.
Dragon's thoughts: more food. then sex. then more food.
Section 2 header: PIXIES ARE PROBABLY A SPECIES OF INSECT.
Panel: A pink-winged pixie with red bug-like eyes stands with arms raised.
Pixie: I'M 50% OVIPOSITOR!
Section 3 header: IF UNICORNS ARE IMMORTAL, MOST GREW UP IN A MORE BIGOTED ERA.
Panel (left): A unicorn faces a princess in a pink dress and crown, standing before a rainbow.
Unicorn: WELCOME TO THE RAINBOW VALLEY.
Panel (right): The unicorn beside the rainbow, continuing.
Unicorn: NO JEWS, NO BLACKS.
Votey: A close-up of a unicorn's face with a speech bubble.
Unicorn: Who wants ova?!
Section 1 header: ONLY SOCIAL ANIMALS EVOLVE CONSCIOUSNESS. DRAGONS ARE SOLITARY.
Panel 1: A man in a green tunic stands facing a dragon.
Man: I COME WITH A RIDDLE!
Panel 2: The dragon bites down on the man.
Sound effect: =chomp=
Panel 3: The dragon lies curled on a pile of gold treasure, with thought-bubble dots rising from its head.
Dragon's thoughts: more food. then sex. then more food.
Section 2 header: PIXIES ARE PROBABLY A SPECIES OF INSECT.
Panel: A pink-winged pixie with red bug-like eyes stands with arms raised.
Pixie: I'M 50% OVIPOSITOR!
Section 3 header: IF UNICORNS ARE IMMORTAL, MOST GREW UP IN A MORE BIGOTED ERA.
Panel (left): A unicorn faces a princess in a pink dress and crown, standing before a rainbow.
Unicorn: WELCOME TO THE RAINBOW VALLEY.
Panel (right): The unicorn beside the rainbow, continuing.
Unicorn: NO JEWS, NO BLACKS.
Votey: A close-up of a unicorn's face with a speech bubble.
Unicorn: Who wants ova?!
Alt text
A three-part SMBC comic titled "SAD TRUTHS: MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE EDITION." Part 1, captioned "Only social animals evolve consciousness. Dragons are solitary," shows a man saying "I come with a riddle!" to a dragon, which then eats him ("chomp"), then lies on a hoard of gold thinking only "more food, then sex, then more food." Part 2, captioned "Pixies are probably a species of insect," shows a pink-winged pixie with red bug eyes proudly announcing "I'm 50% ovipositor!" Part 3, captioned "If unicorns are immortal, most grew up in a more bigoted era," shows a unicorn greeting a princess at a rainbow: "Welcome to the Rainbow Valley" and then "No Jews, no Blacks." Votey: a close-up of the unicorn's face with a speech bubble reading "Who wants ova?!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.