soonish
Original: soonish on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title block (handwritten author note, signed "Zach"):
HEY EVERYONE! BELOW IS A COMIC ABOUT THE NEW BOOK WE'RE PUTTING UP FOR PRE-ORDER TODAY. IT'S A BOOK ABOUT EMERGING SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY, AND I AND KELLY SPENT THE LAST TWO YEARS RESEARCHING AND WRITING IT. SO, WE'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D CLICK THIS IMAGE TO TAKE A LOOK AND CONSIDER BUYING IT.
-Zach (heart)
(PS: Click here for today's two new SMBC comics!)
Panel 1 (caption): ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET AN AGENT INTERESTED IN REPRESENTING A BOOK BY ME. I PITCHED SOME IDEAS.
Zach: IT'S A KIDS' BOOK ABOUT A BUNNY GRAPPLING WITH CAMUS' "PROBLEM OF SUICIDE."
Agent: SWING-AND-A-MISS, WEINERSMITH.
Panel 2 (caption): A FEW WEEKS ON, I HAD ONE THAT HE LIKED.
Zach: IT'S A GUIDE TO FUTURE TECHNOLOGIES, DEEPLY RESEARCHED BUT WITH COMICS AND STUFF TO LIGHTEN IT UP.
Agent: GIMME!
Panel 3 (caption): CAVEATS WERE STATED.
Zach: I'M GONNA HAVE KELLY DO ALL OF THE REAL WORK.
Agent: THAT'S PROBABLY BEST FOR EVERYBODY.
Panel 4 (caption): A REMARKABLY SHORT TIME LATER, WE HAD A BOOK DEAL AND A FIRM DEADLINE.
Zach: WHAT HAVE WE DONE?
Panel 5 (caption): FROM EARLY 2015 TO LATE 2016, WE WORKED NIGHT AND DAY, JUGGLING KIDS, WORK AND INFINITE RESEARCH.
Kelly: HOW IN GOD'S NAME DO THESE TECHNICAL BOOKS COST $250?! THAT'S $2 PER PAGE.
Zach: IF WE DON'T PAY, WE'LL MISS SOMETHING, AND BE MADE TO FEEL NERD SHAME.
Panel 6 (caption): AT TIMES, IT WAS FUN.
Zach (reading a book): SO THAT'S HOW A JOSEPHSON JUNCTION WORKS!
Panel 7 (caption): AT TIMES, IT WAS WEIRD.
Kelly: THAT ONE GUY WE TALKED TO WHO HAD A NOBEL PRIZE... HE MADE A PRETTY STRONG CASE FOR LEGAL ORGAN MARKETS.
Zach (at computer): NO SELLING YOUR KIDNEYS.
Kelly: YOU'RE ALWAYS HOLDING ME BACK!
Panel 8 (caption): AT TIMES, IT WAS PAINFUL.
Kelly: I'VE REACHED A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I NO LONGER WANT TO LEARN ANY MORE OBSCURE METHODS FOR SPACE LAUNCH.
Zach: SO, WHAT, YOU'RE DEAD?
Panel 9 (caption): AT TIMES IT WAS REALLY PAINFUL.
Kelly: WHY'D YOU AGREE TO DRAW 100 COMICS FOR THIS BOOK WHILE ALSO DOING SMBC?
Zach (holding up a battered, monstrous-looking hand): THIS HAND DID A LOT OF BAD THINGS. IT NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED.
Panel 10 (caption): BUT, AT LAST, WE FINISHED THE MANUSCRIPT.
Zach: CAN WE BECOME ALCOHOLICS NOW?
Kelly: NO. WE HAVE CHILDREN.
Zach: AND THEY'RE ALWAYS HOLDING ME BACK!
Panel 11 (caption): THIS BOOK TOOK EVERY SKILL WE HAD
Zach: FROM DRAWING DIRTY NERD JOKES!
Zach: AND DRAWING DIRTY DORK JOKES!
Kelly: TO EXPLAINING HOW MICRORNA CAN BE USED TO DETECT CANCER.
Kelly: TO EXPLAINING WHY SCRAMJETS ARE HARD TO BUILD!
Panel 12: I HAVE ALWAYS FELT FORTUNATE TO HAVE READERS WHO ARE WILLING TO TRY OUT SOMETHING NEW WITH ME.
Zach: THEY'RE BUYING SINGLE-USE MONOCLES?!
Kelly: BLESS THEM.
Panel 13 (caption): SO, I'M ASKING YOU TO COME WITH ME ON THE NEXT ADVENTURE, AND TO LEARN LOTS OF WEIRD SCIENCE, HISTORY, AND EVEN SOME PHILOSOPHY OF TECHNOLOGY ALONG THE WAY.
Zach: PRESENTING: "SOONISH: TEN EMERGING TECHNOLOGIES THAT'LL IMPROVE AND/OR RUIN EVERYTHING"
(Book cover shown: SOONISH, by Kelly and Zach Weinersmith. Starburst label: "Available for pre-order now! Just click!")
Panel 14 (caption): OR, IF YOU THINK I'M MAYBE BIASED BECAUSE I WROTE IT (OR BECAUSE I LOOOOVE MONEY), HERE ARE SOME NICE THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT IT:
"Basically, I think this book is a masterpiece, and something I wish I'd written myself." - SCOTT AARONSON
"Space elevators, gold asteroids, and fusion-powered toasters - who knew science could be so much fun? And who knew fun could be so scientific? 'Soonish' is hilarious, provocative, and shamelessly informative." - TIM HARFORD
"Playful, yet deep." - GEORGE CHURCH
"I love this book so much I 3D printed myself a second heart so I could love it more." - PHIL PLAIT
"Kelly and Zach promised me a crystal ball, but what I got is both more insightful and far more entertaining than staring into a dumb glass orb. Soonish will make you laugh and -- without you even realizing it -- give you insight into the most ambitious technological feats of our time. You should read this book." - ALEXIS OHANIAN
Panel 15 (caption): AND I PROMISE, ONLY ONE OF THEM WAS COERCED.
(A bald man sits tied/slumped on a chair in an empty basement room. Sound: "Phl! Phl!" An arrow labels the corner: "Our basement!")
Votey: A hand-lettered sign reads: "Go to soonishbook.com for a space elevator of niftyness!"
HEY EVERYONE! BELOW IS A COMIC ABOUT THE NEW BOOK WE'RE PUTTING UP FOR PRE-ORDER TODAY. IT'S A BOOK ABOUT EMERGING SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY, AND I AND KELLY SPENT THE LAST TWO YEARS RESEARCHING AND WRITING IT. SO, WE'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D CLICK THIS IMAGE TO TAKE A LOOK AND CONSIDER BUYING IT.
-Zach (heart)
(PS: Click here for today's two new SMBC comics!)
Panel 1 (caption): ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET AN AGENT INTERESTED IN REPRESENTING A BOOK BY ME. I PITCHED SOME IDEAS.
Zach: IT'S A KIDS' BOOK ABOUT A BUNNY GRAPPLING WITH CAMUS' "PROBLEM OF SUICIDE."
Agent: SWING-AND-A-MISS, WEINERSMITH.
Panel 2 (caption): A FEW WEEKS ON, I HAD ONE THAT HE LIKED.
Zach: IT'S A GUIDE TO FUTURE TECHNOLOGIES, DEEPLY RESEARCHED BUT WITH COMICS AND STUFF TO LIGHTEN IT UP.
Agent: GIMME!
Panel 3 (caption): CAVEATS WERE STATED.
Zach: I'M GONNA HAVE KELLY DO ALL OF THE REAL WORK.
Agent: THAT'S PROBABLY BEST FOR EVERYBODY.
Panel 4 (caption): A REMARKABLY SHORT TIME LATER, WE HAD A BOOK DEAL AND A FIRM DEADLINE.
Zach: WHAT HAVE WE DONE?
Panel 5 (caption): FROM EARLY 2015 TO LATE 2016, WE WORKED NIGHT AND DAY, JUGGLING KIDS, WORK AND INFINITE RESEARCH.
Kelly: HOW IN GOD'S NAME DO THESE TECHNICAL BOOKS COST $250?! THAT'S $2 PER PAGE.
Zach: IF WE DON'T PAY, WE'LL MISS SOMETHING, AND BE MADE TO FEEL NERD SHAME.
Panel 6 (caption): AT TIMES, IT WAS FUN.
Zach (reading a book): SO THAT'S HOW A JOSEPHSON JUNCTION WORKS!
Panel 7 (caption): AT TIMES, IT WAS WEIRD.
Kelly: THAT ONE GUY WE TALKED TO WHO HAD A NOBEL PRIZE... HE MADE A PRETTY STRONG CASE FOR LEGAL ORGAN MARKETS.
Zach (at computer): NO SELLING YOUR KIDNEYS.
Kelly: YOU'RE ALWAYS HOLDING ME BACK!
Panel 8 (caption): AT TIMES, IT WAS PAINFUL.
Kelly: I'VE REACHED A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I NO LONGER WANT TO LEARN ANY MORE OBSCURE METHODS FOR SPACE LAUNCH.
Zach: SO, WHAT, YOU'RE DEAD?
Panel 9 (caption): AT TIMES IT WAS REALLY PAINFUL.
Kelly: WHY'D YOU AGREE TO DRAW 100 COMICS FOR THIS BOOK WHILE ALSO DOING SMBC?
Zach (holding up a battered, monstrous-looking hand): THIS HAND DID A LOT OF BAD THINGS. IT NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED.
Panel 10 (caption): BUT, AT LAST, WE FINISHED THE MANUSCRIPT.
Zach: CAN WE BECOME ALCOHOLICS NOW?
Kelly: NO. WE HAVE CHILDREN.
Zach: AND THEY'RE ALWAYS HOLDING ME BACK!
Panel 11 (caption): THIS BOOK TOOK EVERY SKILL WE HAD
Zach: FROM DRAWING DIRTY NERD JOKES!
Zach: AND DRAWING DIRTY DORK JOKES!
Kelly: TO EXPLAINING HOW MICRORNA CAN BE USED TO DETECT CANCER.
Kelly: TO EXPLAINING WHY SCRAMJETS ARE HARD TO BUILD!
Panel 12: I HAVE ALWAYS FELT FORTUNATE TO HAVE READERS WHO ARE WILLING TO TRY OUT SOMETHING NEW WITH ME.
Zach: THEY'RE BUYING SINGLE-USE MONOCLES?!
Kelly: BLESS THEM.
Panel 13 (caption): SO, I'M ASKING YOU TO COME WITH ME ON THE NEXT ADVENTURE, AND TO LEARN LOTS OF WEIRD SCIENCE, HISTORY, AND EVEN SOME PHILOSOPHY OF TECHNOLOGY ALONG THE WAY.
Zach: PRESENTING: "SOONISH: TEN EMERGING TECHNOLOGIES THAT'LL IMPROVE AND/OR RUIN EVERYTHING"
(Book cover shown: SOONISH, by Kelly and Zach Weinersmith. Starburst label: "Available for pre-order now! Just click!")
Panel 14 (caption): OR, IF YOU THINK I'M MAYBE BIASED BECAUSE I WROTE IT (OR BECAUSE I LOOOOVE MONEY), HERE ARE SOME NICE THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT IT:
"Basically, I think this book is a masterpiece, and something I wish I'd written myself." - SCOTT AARONSON
"Space elevators, gold asteroids, and fusion-powered toasters - who knew science could be so much fun? And who knew fun could be so scientific? 'Soonish' is hilarious, provocative, and shamelessly informative." - TIM HARFORD
"Playful, yet deep." - GEORGE CHURCH
"I love this book so much I 3D printed myself a second heart so I could love it more." - PHIL PLAIT
"Kelly and Zach promised me a crystal ball, but what I got is both more insightful and far more entertaining than staring into a dumb glass orb. Soonish will make you laugh and -- without you even realizing it -- give you insight into the most ambitious technological feats of our time. You should read this book." - ALEXIS OHANIAN
Panel 15 (caption): AND I PROMISE, ONLY ONE OF THEM WAS COERCED.
(A bald man sits tied/slumped on a chair in an empty basement room. Sound: "Phl! Phl!" An arrow labels the corner: "Our basement!")
Votey: A hand-lettered sign reads: "Go to soonishbook.com for a space elevator of niftyness!"
Alt text
A long vertical SMBC comic in which cartoonist Zach Weinersmith narrates how he and his wife Kelly wrote their book. A title block in his handwriting asks readers to pre-order their new book about emerging science and technology, signed Zach. The strip then runs through captioned panels: Zach pitches book ideas to a literary agent (including a kids' book about a bunny grappling with Camus' problem of suicide, which the agent rejects: "Swing-and-a-miss, Weinersmith"); the agent loves his idea for an illustrated future-tech guide and shouts "Gimme!" Zach jokes he'll make Kelly do all the real work. Over two years of night-and-day research, Kelly rages at $250 technical books, a Nobel laureate makes a case for legal organ markets ("You're always holding me back!"), and exhaustion mounts. In one panel Zach holds up a monstrous battered hand saying "This hand did a lot of bad things. It needs to be punished." When the manuscript is finally done, Zach asks if they can become alcoholics now; Kelly says no, they have children, and Zach replies "And they're always holding me back!" He celebrates the range of skills the book required, from dirty nerd jokes to explaining microRNA cancer detection and why scramjets are hard to build. The penultimate panels reveal the book cover - SOONISH: Ten Emerging Technologies That'll Improve and/or Ruin Everything by Kelly and Zach Weinersmith, with a starburst reading "Available for pre-order now! Just click!" - followed by glowing blurbs from Scott Aaronson, Tim Harford, George Church, Phil Plait, and Alexis Ohanian. The final panel shows a bald man tied helplessly in an empty basement, with an arrow labeled "Our basement!" and the caption "And I promise, only one of them was coerced." The votey is a hand-lettered sign reading "Go to soonishbook.com for a space elevator of niftyness!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.